I met Mama at al-ansar bus stop few nights ago. I was, as usual, menonong di bus stop bak orang terencat otak when suddenly this guy who walked past me turned to me and started smiling. It came to me a few seconds later that it was MAMA! He was otw to terawih but in the end he skipped the terawih to sit and talk to me. It's not fine with me, I don't know why, he changed a lot, compared to what he was during secondary school, where he was just the guy every girl wants to be friends with- mind you, not the BGR type- cos of his friendliness and his good sense of humour, and he WAS the kind of guy who doesn't get angry so easily, but if somebody provoked him, hah musnah padahla jawapannya. Serious. A lot of us are missing his old self. That night I tried to console him, telling him to move on, furthermore it's Ramadhan, it's of no use to brood over the past, and simply forgive and forget. Mama remained quiet throughout. He looked as if he was a cross between daze and thinking. And when he finally spoke, he shuddered and was close to tears- it was obvious because of his change in his voice (quivering) and he looked up to supress the tears. I was moved to tears and I plead him not to cry cos otherwise I will cry as well. I was sad. I could feel how he felt, but he refused to believe it, cos he thought I am living a carefree life and am in an advantaged position, unlike his. I told him, this isn't the Nasri that I know. Why this Nasri became a sad, depressed and vengeful person? He was close with me, we confided in each other about a lot of things, including his major crushes on that girl. I told him again, don't let a girl ruin your life. I know, I understood that he has this crush for his female classmate for almost 2 years, he waited for her, and when they finally got together, I was happy to see him happy with her, cos finally it was worth waiting for. But when their relationship reached an end, things changed. Things began to downfall. This was how the new vengeful, depressed side of him arose. It was disheartening to see him in this condition. I really wanted to help him, but his strong-willed self could just weaken my intentions. I could simply pray for the best for him, and just be there for him whenever he needs a shoulder to cry on.

Don't think too much aite Mama. Don't you remember the times you were so happy in secondary school before? Especially in sec 2, with Yasmin? The science centre thing? The truth and dare? One of the dares you was challenged was to kiss my cheek during FASTING MONTH? (which you did anyway, so technically puasa batal) How talkative we were during MT class till Cikgu Norlinsah threatened to marry us cos we can't stop talking to each other and always arguing like mad when she was conducting the class? (which in the end she separated our seats, but we still found a way to get together and talk non-stop!) And then in sec 4, we were separated into 2 different malay classes, but somehow I cabot my malay class and sneaked into YOUR malay class without getting caught? It happened numerous of times, I know. Mama, why don't you revert to your old self? Don't you think about your loved ones? Your parents? Your brothers? Your friends?

Mama, if you're reading this, I just wanna let you know that despite the "biar kurang kawan, asal jgn kurang ajar" thing that you said to me (and in your blog), you need to know that sooner or later you need a friend to go through the ups and downs with you. The one that will move with the currents of your life. Don't think too much. Sempurnakan your ibadah alright. I'm here for you aite. (:

Okay that post wasn't meant to sound lovey, so please, don't get the wrong idea. You share the same pain when another friend is in pain.

I'm tearing now, do you know that? Now I realise how much I should treasure my dearest miraaa, hannie, nadee, malmal and miroool. My bestestestestestest buddy Miraaa and Nadee since 2002. Hannie and Mirool since 2004. And Malmal since 2005. I love you guys, I'll stand by you when things go wrong and when you need a comforting hug.

And also to my special dearest one, Syazwan. No words, hugs and kisses could express how much I really love you, I hope you could feel it, no love is as sincere as mine for you. I'll go to the ends of the world if you wanted, just like how we started. Even the stars couldn't beat the shine in your eyes that are filled with upmost sincerity.. I love you baby, I really do.

Before I am emo-driven please allow me to leave the seat.


It's just my love for you till I die in your arms.