I received an unexpected miss call at 1020pm just now. I froze in terror, and felt a surge of panic eating the insides of me slowly, as though enjoying and savouring the taste the sinful indulgence. I pondered, what does this boy want from me again? Aren't he tired of me who had messed up his life till his level of trust on me dissipated in a matter of time? I thought he had already moved on and even forgotten my name, but that was where I go wrong.

I returned his call. There was an uncomfortable silence in the initial minutes. Until he raised up a question which struck me like a lightning. I was speechless for a moment, but I answered the question with a question. He refused to answer my questionable answer. He wanted my answer to either be a 'yes' or a 'no'. I contemplated for a moment, and thought hard and carefully. But he thought my silence meant 'yes', and I heard a wave of disappointment from his voice. But he was wrong. I answered the opposite of what he thought it would be. And he went speechless. So there was another minute of awkward silence until he finally broke the silence,

"Tell you the truth, I really can't move on without you."

Now it was MY turn to go speechless and weak on my knees. Involuntary action, if you call it on biological terms. My mouth went dry and I was really shocked. The last 6 words totally touched the core of my heart, and it leapt with joy. Unfortunately, my heart was so happy that it refused to work with the coordination of my brain, so it went haywire and I ended up saying the most embarassing thing ever,

"I love you a lot, dear."

!!!!!!!

Okay maybe at some point or another, it made sense.

We patched up, after a long 2 weeks of angst-ridden argument filled with chunks of egotistical bits. I realised all this while that I had the wrong perception about him, maybe he went back to his ex or something, but I was again, so wrong. He, on the other hand, had the same mentality as me too, and even described the mental drama that he made about me with my ex at PRP and bablablablablblaa, it was indeed hilarious, to think that both of us thought negatively and similarly during the painful disappearance. But no, for my entire life I won't get back with that sucker. He even said,

"I wanted to call you earlier, but then suddenly a picture of you and your ex came into my mind and I got so angry, so that hindered me from calling you, until today I had the mental picture of you calling to meet me, and we agreed to meet up. And when we meet, you approached me slowly and we hugged each other tight, never letting go."

Me: "And you cried. You too? I pictured you with your ex and I used that as an excuse to be angry at you all over again."

Both laughed.

I may sound pathetic here, but I'm beginning to feel happy with him once again. And I'm going head over heels again. So I'm not a life-messer afterall.

I love you, Di.