This week has been an emotional rollercoaster ride for me. From habis-habisan berperang mulut (WAR WITH WORDS) with this acquaintance of mine to the point of turning suicidal. All in the holy month of Ramadhan. If I have only one word to describe my life now, it's REGRET. Regret to the fact that my ibadah has been receeding badly lately, and I had to waste the remaining five days of my fasting days due to a careless act I did.

Okay ah besides practical exam, it has been a bad week for me. Lately, for two days straight, Dad has been staying up till wee hours just to wait for me to come home despite the fact that he has to go off to work in less than 3 hour's time. I can't believe that actually, I thought he won't care, so I makin kelesa lah come home late. Until he had his last straw, he had a heart-to-heart with me. Which eventually, I cried badly. That night my ego was shattered, cos earlier I had a ranting session with Hero Bacin, expressing my frustations and shouting and screaming in the streets, where one of us ended up crying.

Life is currently at the downside of the wheel. I lost control of my faith and myself and got wasted badly a few nights ago. Got drunk at one point and staggered my way back home in the midnight, and the lucky thing was everybody was already fast asleep.

Hannie lost her loved one this morning at 5 am. She was very depressed at his loss, I couldn't be there for her today, I cried and wished I could have been a better friend. I felt so incorrect, I wish I can be there for everybody, my friends, my boyfriend and others.

Hero Bacin has his own matters to settle. Why must violence be considered as a substitute for civilised confrontation? I wish I could take him away from his world of madness and shield him from all incoming negativity, from all badness. Protect him like how I should. Love him like how he should deserve.

And after a long time, I friggin slit my wrist, despite having vowed to myself to stop doing so.


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Let's drop it. On the brighter note, I had my virgin dining experience at New York Pizza!
Cheeerios!

And recording session with Hannie! Mampos we sang Stars Are Blind and sounded better compared to M2M's Mirror Mirror. At some point I sounded horrible (maciam small kid) whereas she sounded perfect! And when we duet, you can clearly hear a fine line between perfection and toad voice. Isn't that obvious. Then the 15 bucks shopping at YES supermarket (NO!) where we bought like loads of food and a pack of condom, and we buka-ed at Hannie's place with loads of fishballs and hotdogs in tom yam sauce and our much-favourite-oyster-sauce-marinated chicken and chicken nuggets richly dipped in chilli sauce. An unhealthy combination for buka-ing, but it was indeed a nice experience, and when eating we both spilled our grievances over the what-you-call-as-unhealthy-food and I was close to tears but as a normal practice of "berbual sini habis sini" we dropped the matter and resumed going mad and crazy. Till 11++ pm. I thought I missed the last bus until the much-awaited bus 69 came out from the lane like a godsend (include the light shining on the bus from the sky), I was willing to kiss the bus driver while tapping the ez-link card.

VIVO CITY! Freaking crowded! I felt like a lost ant there. And Hero Bacin, confident mama telling me there is a foodcourt at B2, and the moment we reached there, all we saw was loadssss of cars! Where do you think? CARPARK!! Mampos got prata and thosai there eh sayang? And as usual due to my irritating non-stop disturbance to him, he killed me in the lift.

Saw Wen Jun at Carl's Jr! Haha couldn't recognise her, she changed a lot! Hhahaahahahaha!

Blahh. I think that should be all. I'm sleepy, can you tell?

Please disregard anything disturbing above. Take it as a piece of shit from an exhausted & sleepy ranter.

GOODBYE AHH CB.

By the way today's cab fare has an extra 3 bucks! Peak period + eve of Deepavali. WTF. Anyway the cabby was super friendly lah but can't he tell I was tired.. in the end I happily wished him a good day. godday.

So last night I gave away Amsterdam's and Heineken to Hero Bacin, he got wasted too and berbual merepek kerepek. Ranting that I don't love him and so, telling me he was scared. I was scared, yeah he was scaring me. No more crazy alcohol for you. I don't fucking care.

byebye i forgot that I have to reply to 4 of his smses.