What the fucking.
Haha.
I was watching this channel, whereby it aired the story of a married couple, whose husband has an affair with his co-worker.
And he was a jerk.
Simply because he didn't do anything to improve his relationship with his wife despite her already found out about the affair.
And she had to put up with the emotional wreck.
Cos he refused to leave his affair partner.
So they sought counselling advice.
But throughout the process, the husband still refused to leave his affair partner.
Sessions after sessions, the relationship was better a bit.
Cos there was connection between the husband and wife.
But the husband still refused to leave his affair partner.
And he refused to take in calls from his wife when he is at work cos his affair partner's cubicle is just next to him.
And to make it fair, he set equal opportunities for both women.
Like, if his affair partner called him twice, his wife must also call him twice, not more.
Cos he knew that two women are chasing after him so his booming ego made him feel so superior.
He even wanted his wife to befriend his affair partner.
So that the three of them are in harmony.
But no, of course the wife refused to.
Would you want to befriend with your spouse's affair partner after a whole year of infidelity and cheat?
Who in the correct state of mind will do that right.
The counsellors installed CCTV cameras in their house to monitor the things the couple do, including analysing their conflict discussions through the couple's body language and vocal discussions.
Like the husband who put his hand on his wife's knee and stroking it gently/lovingly, while saying, "I am very angry with you."
It's like, his body language is approaching but his opinions are very distant.
At different times of the day, the wife will initiate talks about the affair partner, like asking him what gifts he bought for her.
Then he answered, "An air conditioner for 50 bucks."
It was very hurtful.
Even my sister cried.
Came one session where the couple was sat down on a couch in an isolate room with CCTV cameras and told to talk things through, how the feel and what they need, while the other spouse just listen and keep quiet.
The wife cried.
There was a bright hope that the couple will reconcile.
The wife gave him a deadline, to leave his affair partner or he move out from the house.
But the husband chose to stay with his affair partner.
So the wife chased him out of the house.
In the end,
the wife filed for a divorce,
and his affair partner moved out of the town.
So the husband loses both women.

Moral of the story; Pls do not be greedy. Commit to one la. Is that so hard to do?

I was watching 'Making the band 3' when suddenly my phone rang.
It was private number la.
I was contemplating to pick up the call.
And like I expected, it was a prank call.
"Hello? Mariyanah eh? Ni Inspector Ayie dari East Coast.... (bla bla bla)"
"Ayie? Ayie mane? Who the hell are you?"
"(laughs) AYIE LA.."
"Sape ni? Ayie mane?"
-for the next few minutes the caller was trying hard to reassure me that he's AYIE.
And suddenly I remembered.
AYIE!
That guy from my previous network marketing company.
Hahhahaha.
So I said,
"CHEH. Ayie! Cakapla Fadzli. Then I remember.."
He said,
"Haha. Takmo cakap Fadzli la. Panggil Boi Ayie je."
"Haha sukati kau la."
(my silent what the fucking)
Tak sangke k.
He wanted to raya at my place with his girlfriend.
But I'm going out.
So too bad ah.
HAHHAHAHAAHA.

(:

I broke my nail.
I love grape juice.
My phone LCD screen is being a bitch.
I love Angus.
I love Joyah.
I had a dream yesterday that I went to a live soccer match.


bye.

Okay.
Selamat Hari Raya to all Muslim friends out there.
I know, a bit too late la. You think?

Okay.
It was a tiring day indeed.
Was rudely awakened at 8 am.
Then had to do last minute touch-up.
Cleaning the fan, sofa, tables.
Mom got new 'alas meja'.
Sis ran downstairs to buy fresh flowers and orange squash.
Everything was last minute.
Till there was no time to do the pineapple tarts.
Granny was cooking all the lontong dishes.
I, like usual, became the tukang makan.

From 10-12 plus nobody came. YET.
Until late afternoon.
BOOM.
Everybody came.
To the extent that 2 families from each of side (Mom's & Dad's) came at the same time.
Clash. So many people.
Till you have no space to walk.
Chey bedek uh.
Exaggeration siots.
Okay seriously, it was too crowded,
too many people came,
till we ran out of ice and drinking water.
Had to refreeze ice every now and then.
But my 23-year-old refrigerator didn't have the capability to do so.
So Mom had to 'chop' huge ices into small fragments.
And boil water practically every hour.

I was so hot and sweaty.
Furthermore I was in baju kurung.
So you can picture my misery.
I stole a few minutes of shower while everyone else is outside.
Overall, income was good.
HHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.
Kidding.

Funny thing is,
when my relatives who I haven't been seeing for long saw me,
the first thing that they say to me was,
"Eh eh! Tingginya kau!"
WTF.
Is that my most distinctive feature!?!
I malu know. Serious.
Haha as if.

One makcik, when going back, looked at me.
"Ni dah keje ke skola?"
Hello do I look so old!?
Sorry la makcik-i-forgot-what's-her-name.
Then I said I'm schooling.
So she said,
"Oh kalau skola kene kasi besar sikit la."
I knew what she meant.
Ta-dah, a green dollar note exchanged hands.
HAHA.

Days to come.
Yay yay. (:

This week has been an emotional rollercoaster ride for me. From habis-habisan berperang mulut (WAR WITH WORDS) with this acquaintance of mine to the point of turning suicidal. All in the holy month of Ramadhan. If I have only one word to describe my life now, it's REGRET. Regret to the fact that my ibadah has been receeding badly lately, and I had to waste the remaining five days of my fasting days due to a careless act I did.

Okay ah besides practical exam, it has been a bad week for me. Lately, for two days straight, Dad has been staying up till wee hours just to wait for me to come home despite the fact that he has to go off to work in less than 3 hour's time. I can't believe that actually, I thought he won't care, so I makin kelesa lah come home late. Until he had his last straw, he had a heart-to-heart with me. Which eventually, I cried badly. That night my ego was shattered, cos earlier I had a ranting session with Hero Bacin, expressing my frustations and shouting and screaming in the streets, where one of us ended up crying.

Life is currently at the downside of the wheel. I lost control of my faith and myself and got wasted badly a few nights ago. Got drunk at one point and staggered my way back home in the midnight, and the lucky thing was everybody was already fast asleep.

Hannie lost her loved one this morning at 5 am. She was very depressed at his loss, I couldn't be there for her today, I cried and wished I could have been a better friend. I felt so incorrect, I wish I can be there for everybody, my friends, my boyfriend and others.

Hero Bacin has his own matters to settle. Why must violence be considered as a substitute for civilised confrontation? I wish I could take him away from his world of madness and shield him from all incoming negativity, from all badness. Protect him like how I should. Love him like how he should deserve.

And after a long time, I friggin slit my wrist, despite having vowed to myself to stop doing so.


-

Let's drop it. On the brighter note, I had my virgin dining experience at New York Pizza!
Cheeerios!

And recording session with Hannie! Mampos we sang Stars Are Blind and sounded better compared to M2M's Mirror Mirror. At some point I sounded horrible (maciam small kid) whereas she sounded perfect! And when we duet, you can clearly hear a fine line between perfection and toad voice. Isn't that obvious. Then the 15 bucks shopping at YES supermarket (NO!) where we bought like loads of food and a pack of condom, and we buka-ed at Hannie's place with loads of fishballs and hotdogs in tom yam sauce and our much-favourite-oyster-sauce-marinated chicken and chicken nuggets richly dipped in chilli sauce. An unhealthy combination for buka-ing, but it was indeed a nice experience, and when eating we both spilled our grievances over the what-you-call-as-unhealthy-food and I was close to tears but as a normal practice of "berbual sini habis sini" we dropped the matter and resumed going mad and crazy. Till 11++ pm. I thought I missed the last bus until the much-awaited bus 69 came out from the lane like a godsend (include the light shining on the bus from the sky), I was willing to kiss the bus driver while tapping the ez-link card.

VIVO CITY! Freaking crowded! I felt like a lost ant there. And Hero Bacin, confident mama telling me there is a foodcourt at B2, and the moment we reached there, all we saw was loadssss of cars! Where do you think? CARPARK!! Mampos got prata and thosai there eh sayang? And as usual due to my irritating non-stop disturbance to him, he killed me in the lift.

Saw Wen Jun at Carl's Jr! Haha couldn't recognise her, she changed a lot! Hhahaahahahaha!

Blahh. I think that should be all. I'm sleepy, can you tell?

Please disregard anything disturbing above. Take it as a piece of shit from an exhausted & sleepy ranter.

GOODBYE AHH CB.

By the way today's cab fare has an extra 3 bucks! Peak period + eve of Deepavali. WTF. Anyway the cabby was super friendly lah but can't he tell I was tired.. in the end I happily wished him a good day. godday.

So last night I gave away Amsterdam's and Heineken to Hero Bacin, he got wasted too and berbual merepek kerepek. Ranting that I don't love him and so, telling me he was scared. I was scared, yeah he was scaring me. No more crazy alcohol for you. I don't fucking care.

byebye i forgot that I have to reply to 4 of his smses.

IDIOTIC BASTARD FUCKING SON OF A BITCH STUPID PIECE OF SHIT U MOTHERFUCKING JERK ! WHY MUST UR STUPID MOTHER GIVE BIRTH TO U IF SHE KNOWS TT U ARE JUST A BRAINLESS MORONIC IDIOT WHO DOESNT DESERVE A PLACE HERE. MAY AS WELL GO AND DIE U FUCKING SCUMBAG!

When there's trouble you know who to call................

TEEN TITANS!!

I caught Younger Bro playing with my bra. And please note, at this point of time when the picture was taken, it was not planned at all.



And this is Joyah sleeping on top of the computer processor.



On the other hand, I want to make a shoutout to the world;

HERO BACIN IS PREGNANT.
(with my child)

&

HE MENSTRUATES.
(evidence can be found on his mattress)

&

HE LOVES WEARING SKIRTS.
(he just wore mine and mamposs he looked so sexy cos it's short on him! LEGGY GOODNESS!)

And I swore to him to never leave his side when he's in labour, and to bear his delivery costs after he gave birth. LOYAL KAN. Where else can you find a girlfriend like ME who took responsibility of the unexpected "accident"!?!?!?

-



Yay yay I can't wait for the arrival of the baby.. ahhahaha yay yay.
Btw, he fell sick now cos just now he went ganas to the max.
BAGOS. BALASAN.



















I love you baby.

Kini ku tidak ubah seperti NENEK-NENEK karena ku berbekalkan MINYAK TIGER BALM berbotol-botol untuk memberi kelegaan pada SAKIT OTOT di bahagian belakang tengkukku. Ya ampuuuunnnnnnn.

Mom says there is 'wind' accumulated behind my shoulder which is caused by an intense amount of stress (too much of bending i.e STUDYING) or too much pressure.
Which means the solution is to pamper myself at a day of a good massage parlour butbutbutbutbut WHO'S UP TO SPONSOR ME NOW? HUH? HUH? HUH? hahahaaa.

Thus let us learn this formula:

NO $$ = SHUT THE HELL UP

Sheeeesh. I really need to SAVE some day!
Let's learn another formula:

$$ DOLLAR NOTES $$ = HAPPY PAPER

Everyone loves that kind of paper.

That piece of paper that brings ultimate joy.

That piece of paper that has the ability to wreck any marriage.

That piece of paper that could kill anybody.

That piece of paper that has the potential to severe ties.

That piece of paper that ..........................

Sorry for the drama.

I find my birthday rather irritating.
Think about it, I need to wait for more than a year before I can take my driving lessons, while others who were given birth in January 1989 can already take their driving lessons in less than 3 months away from now.
Mine will be more than 12 freaking months- to be exact it's 14 months! I HATE I HATE I HATE this is so unfair.

So I went up to Mom and said,
"Mak, asal dulu time mak pregnant-kan Mena, mak tak tunggu lagi brape hari jadik mak beranakkan Mena on January?"
(Mom, why didn't you wait for a few days so that I am born in January?)

Mom's reply was:
"Alah, kau memang dah nak klua, ape nak buat."
(You already wanna come out, what to do?)

Then I asked Dad,
"Abah, driving lesson braper ah?"
(How much for driving lesson?)

His reply was:
"Dulu 23 dollars satu jam. Skarang tak tau brape."
(Back then it was $23/h. Now don't know how much.)

So I said:
"Agak2 sume brape?"
(Roughly how much in total?)

He nonchalantly replied:
"Two thousand."

I freaked out.
I don't have to probe him further about the funding for my driving lessons, cos I am 101% positive I will have to pay for my own.
So I tried to console myself about my late birthday by saying that I have more than enough time to save money for the driving lessons (note: 14 months!)
Technically it's the same lah if I were born in January, I still have to save up which I think will take me almost a year to save due to my lack of discipline in saving money.
I'm giving myself a year. Yes, a year. I can't save close to 30 bucks in a month cos I will end up spending the entire money before the 24th hour of the month.

-

I find Danity Kane's AUNDREA FIMBRES a hooootttttttttttttttttttt gorgey fabby mommaa!!
Okay ah though I find their song SHOW STOPPER a bit cheesy, overall they're like a replica of Pussycat Dolls.



-

Practical exam in week's time.

-

loveyoubaby.<3beenmissingyoubadly.

My bad boy, my wicked man, my promiscuous baby, my annoying darling, my Syazzy Wazzy,
my HERO BACIN.

I love my granny grams. Though she can be really demanding at times (scratch that, MOST OF THE TIMES), she is still the wicked ol' mama anybody could know! Like today, she hit me playfully with a broom cos I laughed at her over something. For buka she made fantastic rojak..... and the pedasnya (spicy-ness).. ohh ya ampun!! It was so hot I can blow fire out of my mouth!

On the other hand, I miss my granny embah. Haven't been visiting her for quite some time, I ought to be sent to guilt trip!

GRAMMMMMSSSSSSSS.

And CHEEZITO rocks! Yummmmy cheesy bandito pocket and it has this cheesy succulent hot juicy chicken patty, YOU MUST TRY IT YOU MUST YOU MUST YOU MUST!!!!!!!

[edited]

Can't take my eyes off you

You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.
You'd be like Heaven to touch.
I wanna hold you so much.
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

Pardon the way that I stare.
There's nothing else to compare.
The sight of you leaves me weak.
There are no words left to speak.
But if you feel like I feel,
Please let me know that it's real.
You're just too good to be true.
Can't take my eyes off you.

I love you, baby,
And if it's quite alright,
I need you, baby,
To warm a lonely night.
I love you, baby.
Trust in me when I say:
Oh, pretty baby,
Don't bring me down, I pray.
Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay
And let me love you, baby.
Let me love you.

-

Yesterday I went out to study with Hero Bacin at Changi Airport. Spent like an hour plus at Popeye's (HOLY FUGGGG I'M GONNA GET ADDICTED TO POPEYE'S!!!). BTW miraaa, or was it Nadee? Popeye's is magnificento! HAHA. The mash potato has this bits of chicken chunks and the gravy was ooh-la-la eh stop it la I'm fasting and salivating like a mad dog now. SHEESH.
Skip the other part.

Hot and sweaty.

Down and dirty.

mMmMMmMMmmMm.

Now I'm like at home, doing the chores. Fold the laundry lah, wash the laundry lah, swept the floor lah. Tak ubah macam Cinderella. Now Baby Bro is sitting on my lap watching me typing, I think I'm going to rent 'The Break Up' later to watch cos I'm like freaking bored, Dad is out to apply this computer course at NTUC learning hub (God know's where) and I thought I wanna bring Younger Sis out later to break fast at KFC (I'M NOW CRAVING FOR CHEEZITO) but then I am having neckaches and backaches (THANKS TO HERO BACIN) so let's just forget that idea. Anyway Hero Bacin is having Maths paper 2 (oooh old days) sooooo all the best to everybody who's sitting for the killer paper aite.

Btw, I'm grounded till next Tuesday. So please do not rub it in by sms-ing me whether I wanna go out or something (NOTE TO HANNIE) okayokay. Sedih yes I know.

[/edited]

Kau, Aku Dan Serakah Sebuah Perahu

Dalam ribut nafsu ada deru dalam darahmu
kau tambatkan serakahmu di muara hati
konon akulah pantai, dan perahumu tersadai
bercempera hala tuju kerana robek layarnya.
Lalu kita samakan hidup itu pelayaran
yang cukup jenuh, yang perlu berlabuh
membaca pecah ombak, menyukat gelora angin
songsang arus menghanyutkan kita kembali
ke tengah laut akal, yang melemaskan nilai
lalu bercanggahnya budi, pintanya tanpa jemu
Kau, aku dan serakah sebuah perahu

Di sebalik hujan hati ada tangis dalam rindumu
kau gugurkan cemasmu di hujung sangsi
konon akulah teruna, dan kau dara yang setia
bertukan rindu kerana indahnya janji.
Lalu kita samakan hidup itu penantian
yang amat sementara, yang perlu berbicara
menggenggam pasir pantai, mendengar rahsia angin
perahu usang tersadai lama kita bersama
ke puncak berahi, yang berpaut ajakan
lalu tersukatnya nikmat, puasnya tanpa malu
Kau, aku dan serakah dalam perahu.

Kau dan aku masih dilambung ombak zaman
pantai landai berpinggir pertanyaan, mendebarkan
layar semakin robek, perahu hidup semakin renta
dan rindu masih bermimpikan pertemuan kelmarin
diam alam yang disambar sayap camar
lembayung senja yang beigut memukau
riangnya wajah-wajah kita tersiram basah
dan pantai itu jadi kenangan, menyayat gundah
Kau, aku dan serakah perahu yang indah.

Wakut surut laut, timpas dalam diriku jua
kau tagihkan janjimu di puncak nikmat
kerana cinta itu lukisan ala, terukir senyuman
lalu tersimbah warna merah dan rintihan petang
seperti menggamit sumpahan janji, pesanan luka
sedang darah masih mengalir hangat di pembuluh
bumi turut menggigil, sekejap langit pun muram
kita bersatu sama senja, bermukah dengan malam
terdengar ceriau unggas kehilangan sarangnya
ternampak sayap camar patah di kaki langit
suara nafsu sudah tidak terpedulikan lagi
kata cinta sudah tidak berlapiskan makna.

Kalau ada yang sempurna hanyalah tangisan
Kalau ada yang bersalah hanyalah penyesalan
Kalau ada yang berombak hanyalah harapan
Kalau ada yang tersidai hanyalah sejarah pantai
Kau, aku dan serakah sebuah perahu.


-
-

highlight of the week;
*Caught two movies with Hero Bacin in a day, which is watching another movie as soon as the first one ended.
-John Tucker Must Die
&
-Stay Alive (scary piece of fucking shit, but somehow I freaking like the part when October said to Countess Elizabeth, "GOD FUCK YOU, BITCH." hahhahahhahaahha I likee. I don't know why.)


And I understand that every life comes to an end.

Truth hurts, badly. The news dawned on me so hard, it felt as though the world is crashing down on me. I could not speak, I could not even stutter anything. I couldn't believe I'm losing you, I couldn't believe you'll be gone soon, I can't believe you'll be leaving me, I can't believe you will not be here anymore.. nobody to coax me to sleep, nobody to be there for me whenever I need someone to withstand my rantings, my screamings and my cryings, without even complaining about how whiny or petty I am, cos you'll just stand there and be there for me, and nobody for me to hug to sleep. I don't wanna lose you.. God please do not take this little soul away from me, you have been taking away my loved ones, but please, don't take away him away from me.. I can't bear to watch you go, I can't bear the thought of you leaving me..

I'm sobbing hard, I'm losing control, I'm losing everything.. Without you, my life is as good as nothing.. I felt as if a huge part of me is ebbing away. If you are gone I may as well be gone too....................................................

I met Mama at al-ansar bus stop few nights ago. I was, as usual, menonong di bus stop bak orang terencat otak when suddenly this guy who walked past me turned to me and started smiling. It came to me a few seconds later that it was MAMA! He was otw to terawih but in the end he skipped the terawih to sit and talk to me. It's not fine with me, I don't know why, he changed a lot, compared to what he was during secondary school, where he was just the guy every girl wants to be friends with- mind you, not the BGR type- cos of his friendliness and his good sense of humour, and he WAS the kind of guy who doesn't get angry so easily, but if somebody provoked him, hah musnah padahla jawapannya. Serious. A lot of us are missing his old self. That night I tried to console him, telling him to move on, furthermore it's Ramadhan, it's of no use to brood over the past, and simply forgive and forget. Mama remained quiet throughout. He looked as if he was a cross between daze and thinking. And when he finally spoke, he shuddered and was close to tears- it was obvious because of his change in his voice (quivering) and he looked up to supress the tears. I was moved to tears and I plead him not to cry cos otherwise I will cry as well. I was sad. I could feel how he felt, but he refused to believe it, cos he thought I am living a carefree life and am in an advantaged position, unlike his. I told him, this isn't the Nasri that I know. Why this Nasri became a sad, depressed and vengeful person? He was close with me, we confided in each other about a lot of things, including his major crushes on that girl. I told him again, don't let a girl ruin your life. I know, I understood that he has this crush for his female classmate for almost 2 years, he waited for her, and when they finally got together, I was happy to see him happy with her, cos finally it was worth waiting for. But when their relationship reached an end, things changed. Things began to downfall. This was how the new vengeful, depressed side of him arose. It was disheartening to see him in this condition. I really wanted to help him, but his strong-willed self could just weaken my intentions. I could simply pray for the best for him, and just be there for him whenever he needs a shoulder to cry on.

Don't think too much aite Mama. Don't you remember the times you were so happy in secondary school before? Especially in sec 2, with Yasmin? The science centre thing? The truth and dare? One of the dares you was challenged was to kiss my cheek during FASTING MONTH? (which you did anyway, so technically puasa batal) How talkative we were during MT class till Cikgu Norlinsah threatened to marry us cos we can't stop talking to each other and always arguing like mad when she was conducting the class? (which in the end she separated our seats, but we still found a way to get together and talk non-stop!) And then in sec 4, we were separated into 2 different malay classes, but somehow I cabot my malay class and sneaked into YOUR malay class without getting caught? It happened numerous of times, I know. Mama, why don't you revert to your old self? Don't you think about your loved ones? Your parents? Your brothers? Your friends?

Mama, if you're reading this, I just wanna let you know that despite the "biar kurang kawan, asal jgn kurang ajar" thing that you said to me (and in your blog), you need to know that sooner or later you need a friend to go through the ups and downs with you. The one that will move with the currents of your life. Don't think too much. Sempurnakan your ibadah alright. I'm here for you aite. (:

Okay that post wasn't meant to sound lovey, so please, don't get the wrong idea. You share the same pain when another friend is in pain.

I'm tearing now, do you know that? Now I realise how much I should treasure my dearest miraaa, hannie, nadee, malmal and miroool. My bestestestestestest buddy Miraaa and Nadee since 2002. Hannie and Mirool since 2004. And Malmal since 2005. I love you guys, I'll stand by you when things go wrong and when you need a comforting hug.

And also to my special dearest one, Syazwan. No words, hugs and kisses could express how much I really love you, I hope you could feel it, no love is as sincere as mine for you. I'll go to the ends of the world if you wanted, just like how we started. Even the stars couldn't beat the shine in your eyes that are filled with upmost sincerity.. I love you baby, I really do.

Before I am emo-driven please allow me to leave the seat.


It's just my love for you till I die in your arms.

pregnant chicky.

My cousin from Los Angeles came over. I missed her so much! The last time I saw her was like more than a year ago. Back then she was like, super slim and pretty, now she's carrying her first baby. Hahahaha like she said, "MACAM BOMB." It's cute the way she defined her pregnancy! And throughout the time she was talking about her life on the foreign land, I was pretty much amused and kinda envied her lifestyle there. Very carefree! Macam free and easy! Would love to be in her position, furthermore she had traveled practically everywhere even before she hits her 30s, cos she used to be air stewardess. Ohh opportunities opportunities opportunities!

Today is Hero Bacin's second paper. Once again, I was the one being a kanchiong spider. That boy can still afford to relek-relek, I was one worrying the entire night. So now I hope you could you the paper okay dear. Dahla I miss you. ):

And miraaaaaaa.. mak oi sweet nyer that woman. At 8.07am and 4 secs I was awakened by her text message,

"Menaaa, i miss you. Hehe.. >_<"

but I replied 2 hours later cos I thought it was a dream until I re-checked the message. HAHAHAHA AWWWWWWWWWWWWW. I miss you too la dey. Serious seh. Bila mau meet up ni. Aku ketagih sama kau. HAHAHAHA.