For obvious reasons, okay let's just say, embarassing reasons, I had to delete a top paragraph from the previous post. Thanks to Goh Ammjays who burst the bubble but thankfully she did it, cos if not I will obviously be embarassed for the rest of my life. I am not a person who made the first move and I certainly don't want that guy to know about that. Not that I know him, anyway. HAHA. It's merely random compliments! (self-consoling)

ANYWAY GOH AMMJAYS DID YOU RECEIVE THE EMAIL FROM ZATAN!?!?!?!?! ARE WE SECURED ALREADY!?!! OMG IF WE DID I'LL BE THE HAPPIEST PERSON ON THIS PLANET EEYOTH!

On a serious note, I'm beyond disappointed with a friend. No it's not you Nurul Amira, not you Siti Hanisah, not you Mohd Amiroool and certainly not you, Syed Mohd Qamal. Okay back to this friend, oh I'm just so upset. But I may not know about the problems this person is facing, so I have no right to pass any judgement.

Anyway Mohd Amiroool you listen to Unchained Melody eh!? Lu jiwang classic sia. Hahaa.

Today's work. Aaah. Pressurising. Over some undefined reasons, I broke down and cried in 67 on the way to Bedok MRT. I swear this nyonya di sebelah kept stealing glances at me. Oh let's just dismiss that. I'm fine soon after. These explanations just piss me off further.

TODAY I RAN TO THE OFFICE AGAIN. (from Bugis MRT to office which is about 400m away)

Malu maut. I was perspiring madly but as fucking irritating as ever, I saw my manager slacking at the coffeeshop which is below the office with a recruit. WTF. I approached him and gave him a sheepish smile and then tried to dart off when he said,

"MARIA! There's a recruit upstairs, meanwhile you do your product presentation to her."
"I go upstairs ah?"
"YA LA."

Bonus question sia.

PP! I DON'T LIKE PP! I wasn't even prepared yet! So I fumbled through my broken notes and recap everything. Iskandar was laughing at me cos I kept on using the word 'thingy' for my PP when I'm not supposed to do that. That pakcik!!

JIN HERN IS A SILENT KILLER. Despite his quietness and innocuous looks, he HAS SOMETHING IN SECRET. Omagod I'm the worst upline here. I mean, my recruits are doing really well and going all the way to the top, but I am not being a good upline. I haven't even closed any account!

At 3 plus, my new recruit came. He is one psycho-king, I tell you. He joined this trade barely a week ago, today is his 6th day to be accurate, and he is already bringing his whole clan to be his recruits tomorrow afternoon, and he already closed 3 accounts. 3 FUCKING ACCOUNTS. PLATINUM ACCOUNTS SOME MORE. I broke down infrontof him again and I realised that this pressure is actually keeping me up strong. Thank you, Mr Pressure.

But this psycho-king is one weirdo. Tell you the truth, he's doing well in this business and he's gonna earn more than me this week. I calculated, roughly around $1K per week. Which is about $300 more than mine. PER WEEK, mind you. He told me he's gonna do all the way to the top, and will beat his friend, which is apparently in the same company who is pretty ambitious about bringing the whole class to be his recruits. Neck-to-neck already la. And to tell you a truth, this recruit of mine is actually an active gang leader of.. oh what is it again.. 369 Teck Whye eh? YARRRR. GANG LEADER LEH. And doing very well in his network marketing. ENVIOUS GILER SIA. HE'S EARNING BIG BUCKS!!

I only know him well, today. He could sense my disappointment earlier and asked me to pour out. But I refused, but he suspected it. He even told me,

"If you need help, just call me and I'll come down and let the person go through me first before he can disturb you. See if he could."

Which means, it'll be a gang clash. Which I totally oppose to.

Anyway he is a loving man. I could vividly remember the day when he came to the interview with his girlfriend, and they were so lovey! And honestly the girl, has a bust size of Mount Everest which is quite enormous for a 14 year old girl. Not that I'm talking to her boobs when she's talking to me.

There's just more to talk about but time forbid. Plus, I need to recharge cos tomorrow I havta come down to office again and MAYBE do my PP to this psycho-king's recruits. But I guess not, I have something on.

Yesterday,

Manageress: "..(bla bla bla).. you're doing very good, so I decided to hire you."
Me: "Huh? Me? Serious?"

Isn't that a clever understatement of the year.
Bodoh sia. I could have responded with a good 'Thank You' man.

And today,

Kak Nura: "You're doing very well, very fine. But you lack one thing. YOU NEVER SMILE!! And greet the clients!"
Me: *exaggerates a grin which meant 'grinning from ear to ear'*

I swore my cheeks hurt badly after that.

It was indeed tiring, but happy. This Friday I am required to come down to the office for foreign recruitment, if I'm not mistaken, it will be the Filipinos. Man I'm beginning to love network marketing so much, though it's initially something that I was against to.

Went to take my jab at Raffles' this afternoon. God knows how much I feared the needles so bad, but the ironic thing is that I love sewing. The doc just smiled and said, "Don't worry, it will only be like an ant bite, just close your eyes.." in a tone used to calm LITTLE KIDS down. So I shut my eyes tightly while enduring the more-than-ant-bite pain. So much like ant bite, I think the ant must have an 8-inch-razor-sharp tooth to create that similar jab pain. Stupid ant.

Dad is dead rabak now la. I think the moment he got home (in the evening) he went straight to sleep. I, who was on my feet the whole day, took 14e for the bloody 1st time and I swore I was a pure jakun-ese nut, who got back at 7.30pm, still got time to eat (after a whole load of Mc Chicken meal and 2 slices of Canadian pizza), talk crap with Mom and Sis, bathe and then blog. I think Dad needs tongkat Ali. For multiple purposes.

With unhealthy food going down to my throat then straight to my thighs, I can hereby vow that I shall grow fat in 2 weeks time. If my weight remains at 54kg, I shall double my lunches to achieve 60kg. And then I will die sooner, which is not good.

To grow fat? Or remain at 54kg?

Nurul Amira was being such a hilarious child yesterday. She called me up yesterday night, and did some catch-up with me, and being the normal standard absent-minded grandmother she is, she was so confident mama to meet me up on Friday, together with Hannie, to collect our O's certificate (which some students had ALREADY collected 2 weeks back without my knowledge) in the afternoon. UNFORTUNATELY I have already became a busy woman cos my schedule has been outrageously packed and was mentally making a time slot free on Friday afternoon, but luckily I haven't confirmed it YET cos on a last minute notice, this Nurul Amira went, "OH SHIT. I GOT CAMP ON FRIDAY LA BABI." If I were beside this child I would already have strangled her with an iron cord.

This Friday shall be her's and Syed Mohd Qamal's 7th months anniversary. On the prestigious 28th. Good luck for both of you cos Nurul Amira's at camp all the way till Monday. Haha.

Erh sheesh Blackie is in manja mood now, his black fur is all fluffed out and his cold nose is leaving wet trails all over my face and FUCK NOW HIS BERBULU TAIL IS SWISHING ON MY FACE AND HIS ASSHOLE (literally) IS LIKE 0.0000000000001 CM AWAY FROM MY FACE. @#$%%^^&^&(*&


Okay bye now I wanna watch an Indon movie, "Wina Bilang Cinta" with Sis. I will be doing an Indon-movie marathon cos apparently Sis' friend lended her a whole lot of wonderful Indon movies. I looikkkeeeeeeee~ (in the minah tone)



"Hey __________ I wanna catch your wave, hey __________ I wanna drift away with you."

I was rudely awakened by the loud ringing of the phone. Soon after, Mom yelled from the hall, "MENA! BANGUN! PERGI GEYLANG!" I was still in a state of disorientment and Brownie came up with its tail so high and sniffing my face and leaving cold, wet marks on my face. THAT DARN CAT.

Mom told me that Sab, my cuzzie called and is coming over. So I quickly took a shower and cooked the breakfast. As expected, Sab was on time. Gerek la that girl. Loves cracking up like nobody's business. Ha.

Went to visit Embah who is at Sab's place cos apparently Embah has been discharged and Sab's mom (which is my AUNTIE) asked Embah to be housed at her home. And an experienced maid has been engaged to take care of Embah, and since Sab already has a maid at her place, now this new maid shall have a company! HAHA.

Sab broke to me about the shocking news regarding her backstabbing friend. Rabak sia that minah. Okay let's not go into details.

So after that Mom, Younger Sis and I went straight to Geylang's new market. MUDDY LA. KNNCCB. I hated and grew totally mad at the crowd, anyway it's Sunday, so understand understood la. Claustrophobic (sp?) must have been what I have. So Mom gave me some cash to buy drinks for Younger Sis and I. And we cabot to the carpark where I waited for Mom. After the whole market ordeal, we went to rent a DVD and here I am. Tired and not happy.

I learned something new about me today. I think I inherited some teeny weeny traits from a sadist, cos right now I enjoy watching people suffer, but I still have compassion towards those in third world country. Let me remind you again it's TEENY WEENY. And I meant, those who really deserve to suffer i.e dickheads, fucknuts, shitheads, haha, players. Not targeting to those who are destined to live a life full of unpriveleges. But duh, though I am fully satisfied and may even laugh out loud and spit at the grave of somebody whom I hate and despise (serve you right) or is currently suffering, who knows I may experience a karmic retribution too. So please laugh at me when I'm suffering in the later life.

Nehehey. Nehehey. Nehehey. I'm such a happy girl. Okay omg I saw a fucking (NOT A VERB) cockroach.

It was a hectic day today. My EZ-LINK card was retained cos it was corrupted and the conductor who retained it was the SAME conductor which reprimanded me about my corrupted card few days ago. But today, he was surprisingly nice, even smiled at me, unlike that day when his actions made him look as if he's PMS-ing.

Besides that, I had 2 recruitments today. I was rushing like a mad cat down from Bedok to Bugis, even came to an extent of running all the way to the office. Macam kay siao. But then, I was greeted by the emptiness of the office. Which is like, KNNCCB.

The manager came 1/2 hour later. Which is like, double KNNCCB. And since I have 2 recruitments today, I will have to do the PP twice. WTF. I was practising my PP so rabak that I nearly lose my voice. And in the end..

Would you wanna complete the ending? Make it happy or sad?

MY ENDING IS,

My manager scheduled the PP for them to another day.
My 2 recruits had to jet cos they're rushing to somewhere after the interview. Which means I ESCAPED MY PP.

Motherfocker. All my effort gone down the drain.

Moral of the story; Don't be too confident mama.

I left the office soon after my last recruit left. Felt like a long ride home, so I took number 2 home. And read. That's when my EZ link card got retained. So now I'm EZ-link card-less. And I know, in the future, adult fare will strip me badly. Imagine spending $$ equivalent to lunch money for fares.

I'm gonna get busy from this Monday onwards. Hell I don't care. No one to prioritise what. I rather spend time all to myself. LOL.


"MOHD AMIROOOL. Do you only wanna dance? says:
dearest queen, will you forgive me?
MOHD AMIROOOL. Do you only wanna dance? says:
hehs
Say HELLO to the fucknut Multi-tasker. says:
(:
MOHD AMIROOOL. Do you only wanna dance? says:
=]
MOHD AMIROOOL. Do you only wanna dance? says:
you are happiness. =]]]]"

Amirool is forever sweet.

MOM will laugh at me.
SIS, worse, will go hysterical and laugh till the end of the world.
YOUNGER BRO, YOUNGER SIS AND LITTLE BRO will be jealous of me.
DAD will stifle a laughter beneath his smile.

But beneath those humorous clownish-appearance, I am a happy girl. My feeling was the exact one I had more than a decade ago, when I got my first lollipop. I emerged as a happy child, and I felt so naive. So pure, so innocuous, so angelic. Well, maybe I can bring myself back to the beginning... Start my journey all over again. Can I..?

I'm beginning a life of a multi-tasker. Even now I don't have time for myself. And later?

It's just good, keeping yourself busy.

Bleah.
I shouldn't think too much.


Do you still care.....?



"..bagaikan syurga tanpa bidadari, kau ibarat hembusan nafas terakhir.."

I am a dreamer but when I wake, you can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take. And as you move on, remember me, remember us and all we used to be. I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile. I've watched you sleeping for a while. I'd spend a lifetime with you. I know your fears and you know mine. We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

I have been tackled with the most toughest questions unknown to humanity. God knows how hard I racked my brains to answer them. Each question squeezed my brain juices for at least 15 minutes. Altogether there were 6 questions.


"only time will tell, how much i mean to you. be it now and forever, you will forever be kept comfortably deep in my heart. i swear i'll cherish you, and that's if you would ever cherish me too. :(

my dearest, please tell me you love me so. coz i do and will always love you. i will not give up on this. i swear."

Thank you, so long being together, and still counting. My love for you can never fade. You are as though already rooted deep inside the core of my heart. Maybe you already are. I won't let history repeat itself, I won't let nobody come in between. I love you too, I can never let go. You are my sunshine on a rainy day. Believe me. (:

I think they need to see a shrink. Each and everyone of them. To get their brains straight like a railway.

Someone thinks I'm sick. I think I need to go down on a diet, minus 1200mg of cholesterol daily and cut down on fat intake. Then I'll be rail-thin.

Eh, if I minus 1200mg of cholesterol everyday, I'm left with 300mg cholesterol for food intake. An egg yolk contains 266mg of cholesterol. AH WTF?

The world has gone crazy, albeit the existence of shrinks around.


I'm gonna shoot this to somebody.
QUIT bullshitting behind ma back. If you don't even believe in me why did you even try to get even with me. I felt exploited. I felt cheated. I hate it. I feel like as if I've been used. Oh pain, my heart is in pain. Oh drama seh. You don't know right. Oh you NEVER know. Pissed, I'm madly pissed. Pissed at a liar. Pissed at the shit you're givin me. AHH I NEVER FEEL SO HAPPY. Fuck, you don't even care. AH THEN DON'T EVEN CARE IN THE FIRST PLACE. I hate you. I don't fucking care if you're reading this. I've held this too long. It's time to let go. Let go of everything. EVERYTHING.

I received an unexpected miss call at 1020pm just now. I froze in terror, and felt a surge of panic eating the insides of me slowly, as though enjoying and savouring the taste the sinful indulgence. I pondered, what does this boy want from me again? Aren't he tired of me who had messed up his life till his level of trust on me dissipated in a matter of time? I thought he had already moved on and even forgotten my name, but that was where I go wrong.

I returned his call. There was an uncomfortable silence in the initial minutes. Until he raised up a question which struck me like a lightning. I was speechless for a moment, but I answered the question with a question. He refused to answer my questionable answer. He wanted my answer to either be a 'yes' or a 'no'. I contemplated for a moment, and thought hard and carefully. But he thought my silence meant 'yes', and I heard a wave of disappointment from his voice. But he was wrong. I answered the opposite of what he thought it would be. And he went speechless. So there was another minute of awkward silence until he finally broke the silence,

"Tell you the truth, I really can't move on without you."

Now it was MY turn to go speechless and weak on my knees. Involuntary action, if you call it on biological terms. My mouth went dry and I was really shocked. The last 6 words totally touched the core of my heart, and it leapt with joy. Unfortunately, my heart was so happy that it refused to work with the coordination of my brain, so it went haywire and I ended up saying the most embarassing thing ever,

"I love you a lot, dear."

!!!!!!!

Okay maybe at some point or another, it made sense.

We patched up, after a long 2 weeks of angst-ridden argument filled with chunks of egotistical bits. I realised all this while that I had the wrong perception about him, maybe he went back to his ex or something, but I was again, so wrong. He, on the other hand, had the same mentality as me too, and even described the mental drama that he made about me with my ex at PRP and bablablablablblaa, it was indeed hilarious, to think that both of us thought negatively and similarly during the painful disappearance. But no, for my entire life I won't get back with that sucker. He even said,

"I wanted to call you earlier, but then suddenly a picture of you and your ex came into my mind and I got so angry, so that hindered me from calling you, until today I had the mental picture of you calling to meet me, and we agreed to meet up. And when we meet, you approached me slowly and we hugged each other tight, never letting go."

Me: "And you cried. You too? I pictured you with your ex and I used that as an excuse to be angry at you all over again."

Both laughed.

I may sound pathetic here, but I'm beginning to feel happy with him once again. And I'm going head over heels again. So I'm not a life-messer afterall.

I love you, Di.

BabyFace rocks big time lah okay.




MIRROR.





Mini modelling. The club's freaking nice. In the center is my new friend, Nabilah! She's cool! And she's from KC! HAWWWTTTTTTTTTTT!!



Whatcha lookin at, baby.



Kickin' open the gents' toilet door with Nabilah.



Mini whore. Literally. LIKE REAL.


Other than that.. Back at the studio...



Okeh. CANDID. Vainity.



Killing boredom.



I like this one, I don't know why.



Ammjays' sexy heels.



Waiting. Just waiting.
1st shot; I don't recall who I was talking to.
2nd shot; WHOSE SHADES?
3rd shot; I was peeking down from the spiral staircase.



Nabilah, Ammjays, Me.



ROCK.



Emo freak.



Kudos to Ammjays.


Hannie's sis' wedding reception. I looked ULTRA SILLY today, so I won't display any full pic.




(:



Don't forget about us. I still think of you.

I'm going MISSING.
Just DON'T BOTHER finding me ANYMORE.

Dahulu kau mencintaiku
Dahulu kau menginginkanku
Meskipun tak pernah ada jawabku
Tak berniat kau tinggalkan aku
Sekarang kau pergi menjauh
Sekarang kau tinggalkan aku
Disaat ku mulai mengharapkanmu
Dan kumohon maafkan aku
Aku menyesal tlah membuatmu menangis
Dan biarkan memilih yang lain
Tapi jangan pernah kau dustai takdirmu
Pasti itu terbaik untukmu
Janganlah lagi kau mengingatku kembali
Aku bukanlah untukmu
Meski ku memohon dan meminta hatimu
Jangan pernah tinggalkan dirinya
Untuk diriku

JGN STEP EMO, PLEASE!

SPEECH DAY TWO OH OH SIX IS BORING.
AND I DON'T LIKE THE 20 BUCKS POPULAR VOUCHER.
WILL SPEND ALL OF IT ON CHOCOLATES. ON MALTESERS. ON CADBURY. AHAHA.
REALLY.

My 'parents' came. They were Nurul Amira and Nadee. MY 'PARENTS'. Siti Hanisah could not make it cos she had a makeover. So my 'parents' captured a shot of me on stage.



Baby I'm just gonna die.


Enough. After that we slacked at the canteen.

After that we chilled at the band room. SAD ATMOSPHERE.



... SAD ATMOSPHERE for me cos Nurul Amira and I witnessed the reunion of Nadee and her loved on, darling Matthew! ;'(


Then all the 4 of us went to HAAGEN DAZS!!!!!! HAD THE CHOCOLATE FONDUE!!! (read: orgasm)







Orgasmic chocolate fondue.





Too high la sayang.



Getting high.



Gerek la babe.



Licky licious. YUM.



Nadee got so high that she achieved more than 5 orgasms that evening. She loved licking the spoon so seductively which contained the remaining traces of the chocolate. Spoon-licker.



Nurul Amira is awarded TOP IN MALAY for GCE 'O' LEVEL 2005.


MIRROR REFLECTIONS.









Last pic to wrap it all.



Just come baby come.


GEREK LA THIS BUNCH OF PEOPLE. SADLAH SITI HANISAH COULDN'T COME. MUST COME OKAY. MEET UP AGAIN. I DON'T CARE.

We must get devirginised by the chocolate fondue again!

((:


*READ MOHD AMIROOL'S BLOG. HE PLOT A STORY WITH THE PICTURES.
http://amiroool.livejournal.com.

I LOVE TO SABO HIM.


BTW I DONNO WHY THE TEXT IS UNDERLINED.

On MONDAY, I fell so hard for Cadbury, but on TUESDAY, there's just something in it that kinda put me off. BUT I just can't resist Cadbury!! So yummy, so delicioussssssss... and orgasmic. Hmmm. Very very ambiguous (sp?).

Okay fade it, Maltesers will still top them all.

Nurul Amira AND Siti Hanisah, MEET UP SOON. NEED TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT. *wink*

I lovE Maltesers, AS ALWAYS.

Irritating bugger in cyber space.

Blue is ME.
Red is that shitto.


aku tak tahu lah~! says:
hi
imma princess in yur world. =]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] says:
yea?
aku tak tahu lah~! says:
yeah ti u too
aku tak tahu lah~! says:
how is u
imma princess in yur world. =]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] says:
fine ah.
aku tak tahu lah~! says:
imma doing wad
imma princess in yur world. =]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] says:
do i know you?
aku tak tahu lah~! says:
wad u tink
imma princess in yur world. =]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] says:
i'm flattered tt a stranger actually knows me.
aku tak tahu lah~! says:
takmo gini ah
aku tak tahu lah~! says:
kiter da fade up seh
imma princess in yur world. =]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] says:
but pardon me i really dont know who the fuckin hell you are?
imma princess in yur world. =]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] says:
fade up?
imma princess in yur world. =]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] says:
did i even have anything gotta do with you?
imma princess in yur world. =]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] says:
i dont think so
imma princess in yur world. =]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] says:
i dont even know who you are.
imma princess in yur world. =]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] says:
so sorry, you must have gotten the wrong person.
aku tak tahu lah~! says:
kalau u nak speak sarcasm
imma princess in yur world. =]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] says:
if you would excuse me,
aku tak tahu lah~! says:
u sure
imma princess in yur world. =]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]] says:
i dont talk to strangers.
aku tak tahu lah~! says:
wah

*Then I blocked him.*

He's a major dickhead who won't stop bugging me since, so many years ago. Oh oh, a desperado too. Hello, I think I've forgotten who you are, so please, don't bother me anymore. Fuck off.

I enjoy pretending to be a rockstar. I love it when I'm all alone at home, cos the moment Mom walks out the door to either go out or go market (which means the home all to myself) , I'll automatically play Fall Out Boy's "Dance Dance" and turn up the volume and then pretend I'm the vocalist/guitarist and jump around, head banging in front of the mirror and stare at how atrocious I look each time I do such things. But the happiness you get is bliss.

Man, those real times were the days lah eh. If you know what I mean. To look back, the band could have survived till now but then it's the present complications that blocked out the pending success. Maybe Siti Hanisah could have went as far as a professional sexy guitarist with jaw-dropping guys who could just get amused by just watching her run her magical fingers down the strings, Nurul Amira could have been a hot babe on the guitar with guys crawling around her feet, Mohd Amiroool, a part time drummer, HAHAA, I WON YOU, would be the coolest dude on Earth, me, could have been a drummer who is highly-envied by every single girl in the world who just wish they could be like me. Syed Mohd Qamal could have been the most incredible vocalist and would even have countless of singing contracts chasing after him. Ahh.

Hmm. A dream is a wish your heart makes. Thus explains the paragraph above.

Actually, I have not been a happy girl. Except for the towning with Nurul Amira and Siti Hanisah which was a total blast. Dad has been pretty ugly unreasonable over millions of reasons. I wish I could like, either,

1) Migrate
2) Get into a local or OVERSEAS university (Calling for MENA'S BRAINS, Calling for MENA'S BRAINS, which has been missing since a millenium ago)
3) Move out
4) Get married

.. so that I could just stay far away from him. Okay that maybe a bit too over-reacting, but I just wish I could have either one of the options above. But then, even if I was offered an all-paid expenses to Mars to further my studies at the University in Mars, honestly that is still not far enough to be far away from dad.

Not even Jupiter. It's still not that far away. So how far must I go?

Oh enough of this teenage ranting. It just doesn't help to make me feel better.


And I'm going to haunt the judges for Miss Singapore Idol cos it is JADE SEAH WHO IS FIT TO BE THE MISS SINGAPORE UNIVERSE, NOT THE RUNNER-UP!!!!





Bloody sacre bleu!!

Okayla I cannot sleep. Too hungry. So I'm gonna fry a burger. Brb.

****************************

Okay I fried the burger. I'm going to eat it. Brb.

****************************

Okay I've finish eating. I'm gonna blog. Eh wait my cat is purring like fuck. I'm gonna pet it now. Brb.

****************************

Okay I'm gonna stop being so lame. Now, a proper post. Eh wait my Mom's bringing me to rent 2 DVDs of my choice! HAHAHHA YEAYYYY okay WAIT.

****************************

Haha. Just came back home. Went downstairs to get Younger Sis her ice cream, chocolate and ice jelly for me. And I also rented 'The Cinderella's Story'. YAYYY. HAPPY SIAK. (?)

Okay now, a proper post.

Went towning with the girls, namely NURUL AMIRA a.k.a Tetek and SITI HANISAH! Gerekkkkkkkkkkk is the word of the day. I was practically on my own feet ALL THE WHILE when towning with them. NO CHANCE TO SIT DOWN.

Then we went to IKEA!



I cropped the lower half of the picture. COS MY ASS WAS HUGE. I don't want attention to be drawn to my ass. So off you go, buttsy.



We were squeezing into this white, small kiddy tent, and that rainbow coloured thingy is a SNAKE. SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.



Flower in her hair.



HELLO. WE ARE FLOWER GIRLS.


Then Nurul Amira has to go off. Sad la. But it was another blast with Siti Hanisah!! (:

So today I'm FINALLY AT HOME. May be going out later at night, though. And maybe tomorrow again. HAHAHHAHAHHA HAPPINESS.

Monday I'm down to Bugis! YEAHHHHHHH. THIS IS LIFE. REAL LIFE.

Funny sia this clown. I thought I heard a missed call, so when I returned back the call, nobody picked up the phone.
Bloody irritating bastard. Maybe just another prank call by some punk. Oh wells. I shall pretend it didn't happen and go to sleep now.

Thou shalt abide by the new names.

AMIRAAAAA a.k.a TETEK: Your new name will be NURUL AMIRA.
AMIROOOOL: Your new name will be MOHD AMIRUL.
Hannieeeeeee: Your new name will be SITI HANISAH.
Qamalllllllllllll: Your new name will be SYED MOHD QAMAL.

DAH. BE HAPPY. yeayeayeyaeyayeyayeyyeayeaa.


Bored sia. I need a part time job la, knnccb.

On the 15th April (Saturday), AMIRA SHALL NOT BE WELCOMED WITH ANY FORM OF COLOURED CARPET, cos in this case she demanded to be welcomed with a red carpet, and she SHALL BE A MINAH KAMPUNG FOR THE DAY, cos she will have no time to change from home clothes to baju kurong as the distance between Clarke Quay and Tampines is like Antarctica to Singapore, so she will be late for the akad nikah if she wants to rush home to change, SO SHE WILL HAVE TO ATTEND HER TUITION AT CLARKE QUAY IN BAJU KURONG, to SAVE TIME. (when her other classmates are stylishly dressed-up)

ANDDDDD...

WE WILL NOT WAIT FOR OUR DARLING TETEK. YOU WILL GO UPSTAIRS YOURSELF.

Have I made myself clear?

I'm CORDIALLY INVITED TO BGSS' 5TH SPEECH AND PRIZE GIVING DAY!
I cannot believe that I came in TOP IN MALAY!
HAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAH!!

Just a few minutes ago, I tutored Amirul on the subject he's very weak on, MALAY. So instead of talking on our usual English, this time we conversed in MALAY. And it was so.. WEIRD.

*jatuh terguling-guling di lantai berketawa*

That is an abbreviation to 'ROFL' (rolling on the floor laughing). It's a direct translation to that.

So I cannot imagine myself going up there to receive the prize with million pairs of eyes watching me. Chey no la million. I'm not receiving a bloody Grammy's.

BUT STILL!! MALU!! Like, I'll be the one wearing home clothes (apart from other sec 4 graduates); but hey, that makes me special cos it is a major indication that I'm an ex-BGSSian. Now that is one hell ego-feeding fact! *EVIL LAUGHTER*

I don't know what to wear.

And so since I'm going to receive a prize cos I'm top in Malay, Amira and Amirooool told me to wear something that has gotta do with the subject. So they told me to wear BAJU KURONG. Now that is sooo TRADITIONALLY MALAY. Kena semangat!

This Friday I'm meeting up with TETEK & SITI HANISAH to submit my reply slip regarding the Speech Day and after that, GOING OUT! To where arh? JACUZZI EH? IKEA EH? OPTREX-ING LA!!

16th APRIL la! Happy sey! Looking forward to that day like fcuk!


Advanced warning to MOHD. AMIROOOOL;
Please, and I mean PLEASEEEEE, don't SCREAM my name when I'm going up the stage, cos later "saya akan jatuh terguling-guling bersama baju kurong saya di depan beribu-ribu orang dan saya akan gali kubur untuk menyembunyikan diri saya untuk selama-lamanya."

I SWEAR I'M NOT GOOD IN MALAY ANYMORE LA KAY YOU CAN SEE IT FROM THE ABOVE SENTENCE I CAN EVEN CONSTRUCT SIMPLE SENTENCES ANYMORE.

Stupid sentence, and observe my poor use of the language that ironically made me the top student in that subject. And by the way, I am NOT going to wear baju kurong okay. Semangat and berjiwa melayu when both of us don't even speak Malay. Okay for him, NO, for me, scarcely.

And how come I still mastered that language?!






Because I'm an idiot.

This is it. This is the time.
I'm going to pick up the broken pieces of my heart and move on. I can't possibly cling on any further. It has been torched to me directly that I'm not needed anymore. I'm picking up the remaining pieces of my dignity and pride, and just go forward, without turning back. Everything is slowly fading, including the old memories.
I can never get angry with you for so long, but today you've crossed the boundaries. I'm never turning back.
Thank you for everything.

Dear Heart,
I'm so sorry for breaking you into a million pieces. I promise the fragments will re-form.

I think I'm a hit among the makciks. Makciks who are approaching menopause. Fyi, makciks= AUNTIES.

Today I befriended a 47-year-old makcik. Her name is Cik Salamah. We met at the mass-employment of retail sector just now. Her first convo with me was merely asking me the date today. And then I found myself happily chit-chatting with her. Soon after our interviews are over, she brought me for lunch. And we ate at MacDonald's, talking even more. We talked about everything under the sun. About her divorce with her irresponsible husband to her 3 kids who have contrasting characters and her teenage daughter who still smokes despite her endless naggings. And Cik Salamah thought I was a 'blessed daughter' whom every parent wants cos I am like, the total opposite of her only teenage daughter. Oh man, as if. I have skeletons in my closet.

The good thing is, being a single-parent who's supporting a family, my new "friend" tend to have a lot of work experience and also, more lobang. She accompanied me to Bedok, to find some part-time vacancies there. Soon the search gained nothing, so we decided to go home. She stopped by the malay hawker centre and got me goreng pisang (fried bananas) for me! But I turned down the offer but she insisted, telling me I could give it to my Mom at home. Friendly ah this makcik. But I felt guilty nonetheless.

Anyway, I'm happy I made a new friend today, though she is like, 28 years older. Age is never a barrier to new friendships, isn’t it?

So people, if your moms are complaining about feeling lonely, why doncha try to introduce your moms to ME, considering I am a Mak Bedah or Mak Joyah on the loose when the companion's right. You can reach my 24-hour hotline at 1800-Mena-The-Makcik and book an appointment a.s.a.p lah okay? FEEL FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

I really can't resist boys who stand half-naked, I mean, topless with only loose jeans (belt included!) hanging down their waist with the top of their boxers peeking out from the tip of their jeans and putting on a bit of nonchalance wiping on their faces. Anddddd he must have the sexy washboard abs and well-toned arms. oh-oh. Just the sight of this really turns me on la. Visually aroused la okayeeeeeeeeee.

Few days back I do cauugghhhhttttttt Di for doing that. He lifted his top off (to show me his abs cos I called him fat) and ta-da, that magical sight in full view. Me being the standard me just brushed it away with that smug on my face.. but inside the teeny weeny heart suddenly beat like a disco box.

That boy better don't do it again.

Okay dah want to go and take my shower before he calls me.


Okay sorry, this is so random.

JOB. WORK. JOB. WORK. JOB. WORK.

I sent an application today. I'm having an appointment with a career consultant tomorrow at 9 am. WEAK AH.

Feeling dead bored and sleepy now. I'm tempted to catch a few hours of power nap but then something is bugging me and it's really pissing me off so it kinda didn't turn me out to sleep. In addition to that, I don't like going to sleep while feeling angry.

I HATE MY DAD. (but without his sperms I wouldn't be possibly here.)

Anyway I had a time of my life yesterday night. DI GOT FOOLED OUTRAGEOUSLY BY ME. Okay this is how the thing went;

Actually we were having a tiff previously, so me, being the standard me who was reluctant to go forward to apologize, actually did something a bit different by telling him that I'll be away to Kuching for 3 weeks today, as in TODAY. So I moved on about telling him why I went there, and telling him that this will be my last moments in Singapore, so should he has any last words for me, better tell me now or, never. It might be too late to tell me later cos I might have left Singapore already while he's at school. So over the phone, when I asked him to give me his last scoldings for the day regarding the 'tiff' we had while I keep quiet and let him rant like a motherfocker (that is a RARE outcome okay cos normally I'll scream back at him each time he scolded me), he just went..

Him: "U.."
Me: "WHAT."
Him: "U.."
Me: "Okay what is it. Quick lah scold me. Tomorrow I won't be around anymore."
Him: "I'm going to miss you.."
Me: "Like I don't." *relieved*
Him: "*in between sobs* I need to see you tomorrow.. How am I going to like.. go through my days without you for the next 3 weeks..."
Me: *stifled a laughter*

I kept quiet for a while.

Me: "I'm going to break to you another piece of news. But promise you won't hang up on me or whatsoever like you normally do."
Him: "Okay."

Me: "This is a belated April Fool's joke. I'm not going anywhere tomorrow."
-dead silence-
Him: "*in between smiles* Bitch."

I burst into a fit of laughter. HAHA. Going Kuching anybody?

Yesterday night, Cuzzie came over to my place to teach me Maths, on a topic that I don't even know a heck of, PROBABILITY. I tell you, for almost one year without a basic knowledge about it, and after a half an hour drill of the topic by my very own Cuzzie, I am now able to master the topic already! I could do all the sums in her worksheet but the moment I tried on the TYS, I got stucked. So today afternoon she's coming over again to drill on the sums in the TYS and after the whole tutoring thing, she, Sis and I will be going to the hospital to visit Embah, which will be in the late evening. (: And after that, go OUUTTSSSYYYYY!

Someone gave this to me. HAHAHHAA.

A GIANT FAMOUS AMOS LOLLIPOP COOKIE WITH THAT SWEET MESSAGE.
"YOU'RE MY SUNSHINE"

I was screaming non-stop at the empty bus stop and we hugged each other tight a lot of times. I was too happy.

I nearly died from an overdose of happiness.

Maltesers is currently keeping me happy.

Once Maltesers is gone, I'll be unhappy once again, back to Square ONE.

Maltesers is my new anti-depressant prescription.

THIS IS A CODED MESSAGE. END OF TRANSMISSION.

It was so real. I saw myself dancing madly and wildly with the other girls in a big circle. It felt somehow similar to the one in prom, but this one is more happening and syioookK, or in the other words, more REALISTIC.There were a hell lot of booty-shakings and grindings and all, and the pop songs were booming from every corners and I got really high on the dance floor. I entered the center of the circle and danced wildly to Akon's 'Belly Dancer' and literally shake my body like a belly dancer. I was so high.
There was even one guy who made attempts to grind on me, but his mission failed cos I didn't emit the vibes that he wanted.

And for the first time ever, I had a sip of forbidden drink, all after the party.

Clubbing. At MOMO.
A dream which is real.

Some things are better left unsaid.