chlorine-consumption

These few days I've been stuck into a realm of idiot-ism. I was struck by awe, confusion and mostly, stupidity. You don't get it? Well, that means my stupidity has reached its extremity. True?
Never mind, it's okay. I don't ask you understand. It's for me to know.

Anyway, I just wanna apologize to Di whom I unintentionally vented my long-time-pent-up-anger on, last Friday night. I suffered an extreme case of mood swing so, I began chiding this innocent boy, hurling vulgarities and more abusive words, and ended up talking like normal, like as if nothing had happened in the first place. And if only you, my only sheep, reads this, I'm really sorry over what happened, and I don't mean what I had said, I don't want you to leave me. I know you're still resenting me over this, you have every right to hate me, but ultimately, I am really sorry. Mmbek.

Just the recent Sunday, I helped out at my aunt's stall at Changi Village. As expected, the queue was mercilessly long, and I was on my feet for 6 solid hours. At night, when I was out doing the dishes, the guy who helped out at the next stall approached me. Omagod mamma, I was really freaked out. Cos you see, this guy has been giving me chills running down my spine since he first saw me, so I chose to work in the kitchen so I have minimal sight of that freaky guy. He even bombarded my cuzzie with questions about me, from my status to my contact number. And then it's not over, when he approached me, he told me that he'll gonna rush home to change and then pick me up to give me a ride back home. OMG. I haven't had the chance to give him my answer cos after he was done with his offer, he rushed off. I was freaked out. He promised to come back at 8 pm. I checked the wall clock. 7.20 pm. So I quickly did my stuffs then cabot at 7.55pm, and caught the earliest bus possible- with one mission; to escape from that guy. Then in the bus, I was looking outside the window, hopefully to catch a glimpse of him on his bike speeding past me. And I think I did. And I ducked. How silly.

When I got back home, cuzzie informed me that the guy actually came to the stall and asked for me, but my aunt said that I've left. And look, she even said that the guy had even played dress-up, cos he looked so slick with his hair and his clothes- just to give me a ride back home- on his motorbike. WTF. Come to think of it, if I were to ride back home with him, I would havta sit so close to him and even hold on to him for support, knowing that it's been more than a decade since I ride on someone's bike. And honestly, I don't want to lead this guy on.

At the end of the night, I had a hard time turning in for the day cos I was really freaked out by what just happened. I saw myself on his bike, and it was giving me nightmares. Please. Not that he's hideous or what, he's actually good-looking, but no, no. I am certainly not interested.


Anyway, today I went swimming with Mom, Sis, the 3 little kiddies, mah cuzzie, and 2 more of my cuzzies. I think I consumed a bit too much chlorine and now having a sore throat. Thanks to Razi for splashing water into my nostrils. Pain. They did laps, but I was clinging to the side of the pool all along- and I gripped the sides hard when I was at the 1.8m pool. How pathetic.

Then we had dinner at KFC. (:

Well it seems that mah family and I might be going to Johore this Friday and even overnight there until Saturday. How nice. But then, this means I havta postpone my tuition to Sunday. Ahh, irritating.

3 days straight out with cuzzie, and I swear I've went insane. Don't blame me on why I've been going out with her. Cos you have no right to judge.

I'm already in my irritated-zone and I've been screaming into a lot of faces today- cuzzies, Mom and Sis. Sorry.

Hah. Results will be out soon. Finally. Will be going to the hell-hole in the afternoon, take the results then go home straight to cry. Woohoo.


I miss that boy.

stuck in the realm of idiot-ism

EH fuck la aku tengah BINGIT.
MACAM SIAL.
CHEEBYE.
Fuck YOU arr.

the bombshell

So many things in mind.

I've been bingeing like nobody's business. That's not for fun.

The uncontrollable indulge. And this is not a happy note.

I'm depressed.







Di, treasure your Mrs Perfect before you lose her.

Few days ago, I was still in DreamWorld, zzzz-ing away, when suddenly I distinctively heard someone calling my name. I was awakened, but half-asleep, so I was still in disorientment, and I saw sunlight creeping in my windows. The name-calling continued. I looked at the wall clock and it was 8.45 am. WTF who the hell would wake me up at that point of time cos usually at that time I'm still comfortably snuggling under my blankets, only waking up when the sun is directly above my head- chey a lil bit of exaggeration there. So I thought it's still too early to get up and I thought my mind was just playing tricks on me.

But this time, the playing got a bit rough. I felt someone tapping my shoulders, followed by a male voice (omg MALE) calling, "Kak Mariyanah, Kak Mariyanah.. Bangun. (Wake up)" This time I was groaning, and uh, moaning, SHEESH, so in my rocker voice, I was like, "Eh.. Orang nak tido ah.. Relax ah.. Ape sey.." (Eh.. people still wanna sleep.. relax ah.. what sia..) I was kinda freaked out cos I saw a silhoutte of a masculine figure, sheesh, how horny can that man be, cos anyway I was in my pyjamas and due tossings and turnings, the skirt was kinda lifted up to my waist, exposing the you-know-what parts, but fortunately it was concealed under my blanket. (: Then the male voice went, "Tengok ni kak.. banyak ni.." (Look at this sis, there's a lot..) This time round I jolted up and realised it was Adam, my 16-year-old cousin from Indonesia, and he was laying out ALL different kinds of handcuffs and wristbands!! Double OMG! I was so interested in one of the black handcuffs so I bought it, for 5000 Rp. LOL. Which means, it's only $1 here! LOL. Chey, punk rock. This is one advantage when you have a cousin in Indonesia. Speaking of which, I still remembered how he tried to introduce me to his drop dead gorgeous neighbour when I went back to Indonesia last year, (I was single back then!) it was a pleasure to have an Indonesia boyfriend, eh. LOL.

Anyway I just came back from visiting my grams (not really my grams, but she's my uncle's mom-in-law). Quite happy that she's okay. (: She's ma fav grams cos she rawks. LOL.

Okay wanna watch teevee now. CIAO.

half-life

Hallo, today is half-day, which means my life is reduced into half.. so I'm going to go to sleep at 6 pm today. There's a tiger look-alike downstairs, sleeping at the ramp, I feel like flying down and scoop up the tiger look-alike cos it's so freaking cute and I want to cuddle it and hop around and around and around and around till 6 pm.

I'm going out later at 4 pm.

Ohmagod Blackie was nestling comfortably on Mom's blue curtain (on the floor btw, in case you're imagining my cat hanging up near the window sill) when suddenly it caught on a small blue fabric lying around and went crazy, running around the blue fabric. I guess it's showing symptoms of what-you-call that.. ah, idiot-ism. LOL. Now it's playing 'Catching' with Brownie. Daymn.

Because I have approximately 3 hours left, I think I'm going for a 3rd round watching Eiffel I'm In Love. Tissues, please!

saturday night fever

Oh. I forgot to add on.

This Saturday, my cousin (younger sister of the recently-married groom) will have another function at my house, -again-. No no she's not getting married here, but my parents are involved in the planning of the date for the marriage of both my cousin and her fiance. So her parents will be over, together with my grams and some cousins, and also people from her fiance's side. Which means, more cleaning, *groans*.

Haha okay that's all. I'm contemplating whether to watch Eiffel I'm In Love again, which means, another round of crying again. Didn't know why I went emo on that movie. (:

loloolololololoololollololoooololo

I went emo with James Blunt's "Goodbye My Lover". -shared your dreams, shared your bed.- LOL. How romantic.

I am a dreamer.

So I just got back, erm, 2 hours ago. Haha finally I went out. And inevitably, I'm feeling so happy. DOOD. It has been ages since I stepped out from the house, okay there's a bit of exaggeration there, ah but who cares. (: At this point of time, no one outside cares about me, so why do I need to care about 'em? I'm happy mayn, being alone. Thank you God, for giving me this strength, cos most prolly in times like this I've prolly went to commit suicide. (:

Shayt. Crapped again. There's a lot of exaggeration there. Don't mind that unprofessional ranting, cos it's not true and I'm just trying to be in the shoes of such person facing that situation. Now everybody come on heave a sigh of relief.

These few days I am faced with a social-less personality. Pardon me if I appear cold to you, yeah here's an advanced apology, my personality will be temporarily shut down for maintenance, hence I will speak less or none at all, so people, don't get offended.

Oh ya one more thing, don't ask me why I am not on talk-able terms. And I mean it, don't fucking ask.

doggie-style

I have yet recovered from the shock I had just a few minutes ago. Around 10 mins ago? I was ranting away when Mom sent me to fetch Little Sis and was stomping down the staircase when a big huge furry brown dog appeared right before my eyes. It was so freaking huge, and its eyes were on me, I was so shocked my instant reaction was to run (when you're not supposed to). So I ran up a flight of stairs and ran home with my slippers still intact on my feet even though I was already in the living room. Then Mom had to go down and fetch Little Sis.

Daymn that was scary. But on the other hand, I sympathized the dog. It's so lonely and was quietly settling down at the hush-hush corner at the 3rd storey. Obviously it's homeless, cos this stray dog is well-known to be roaming aimlessly at my void deck. So I kinda sympathize it. Have it eaten? Does it have enough water to drink? These kind of questions linger, but I can't help it. I can't touch it mayn.

I love you, Mr Doggie, sorry I ran away from you cos I cannot touch you and I don't want any bit marks on my leg. ):

Daymn I am struck with guilt.

I seriously wanna go out, but the problem is I have nobody to go out with cos it's either they're;
1. Schooling (Mira, Sab Cuzzie, Nisa- my neighbour)
2. Working (Hannie, Sis, Qamal)

Left only me rotting at home. Which kinda suck, actually. I've been polished with home chores and cooking- thanks to Mom. BTW I COOKED Ayam Masak Merah today for lunch all by myself. AHAHHAHAHAHHA OKAY BOAST-ER. So if I were to get married, they better increase MY dowry. Plus plus points, still a virgin, educated (still pursuing). Ah shit. Chey. Money-faced eh.

*selling your daughter? (In the other words.)

IFUCKINGWANNAGOOUT. CHEEBEY.

each day is getting more freaki-er

Today freaked me out. Dad sat me down and talked to me about poly/jc/ci and more shits. That is like, so freaking freaky that I couldn't make any eye contact with him cos there's this aura of awkward-ness in the atmosphere and it's a natural reaction if you have something against a person and also you haven't been talking to this person for ages, so that's how I reacted towards Dad. I ended up talking monotonously and looking down all the time while he was trying really hard to make me look into his eyes. (serious talking) But I couldn't bring myself towards it.

So yeah. Dad freaked me out.

I'm trying to use up my remaining 60% of my energy because I can't seem to get my ass in bed cos of too much carbo intake and I'm wide awake. Bad time to eat a lot of rice at night. Everyone's asleep and I can't call them, obviously. I woke Di the Horny Sheep up with my call and had to make him sacrifice for me just to waste my energy. Made him talk to me with his just-woke-up voice. And had to let him go after Mom started the lecture. Then I got bored again.

Farid offered me to join his band as a drummer. Omg. That was like, so sudden. But I turned it down. Obviously. I scarcely know him- apart from he's also from RHSYA, and the last time I talked to him was during the Amazing Race event which was one month ago- he's not that close to me, and furthermore his band mates, which is like, all guys and they're like from different schools.. I'll be alienated, for sure. Hahaha. Sorry dude. Apparently Tomo (The Hair, LAUGH AMMJAYS) backed out so I think Farid's band is lookin for one drummer so I was in the list. So malu sia.


You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you

-Can't Smile Without You by Barry Manilow

iswandi is the horniest sheep alive

My cousin is now finally married. And the bride can already be de-virginized, or in the other words, fuckable.

Crude, eh.

Bitching with cuzzies. Rawk. Esp one horny cousin of mine.

Dah. It's over. The wedding was mediocre.


Anyway my name has been changed. I have a stepdad who was my boo.

Mariyanah Bte Mohd. Iswandi.

Di the Horny Sheep 'confessed' that he is actually my stepdad. A 15-year-old stepdad fathering a 16-year-old me. Wow. Tragic eh.

Suits you ar kambing. Mmbek.

Eh, there's a vocab confusion here. Previously I thought 'bride', NOT bridegroom, was the word for my recently-married male cousin, so there's a typo in previous entries. HE'S A BRIDEGROOM, NOT A BRIDE.

Shayt. I keep thinking bride is for males. Until today.

Sorry dude, for mistakingly label you as the 'BRIDE' when you are the 'GROOM'.

I'm tired. Just got back. There will be dinner later at 6 pm so I'm going there with my beloved cuzzies (esp Hazwani! HEHEHHEHEHHEEHE!) plus kecoh-maut aunties and uncles and Mom and apparently the 'wakil' (representative..) *drumroll* My Dad. "Yay." (apparently he is the one who did the formal talking when my male cousin (BRIDEGROOM) was about to be married.
Yeah. So Imma gonna wait for Hazwani to come over then we'll see about that.

Dinner again. It means, more calorie intake. WOOHOOO, Mission-Get-Fat is working! (:

engine-exhausted machine

People, if you need any domestic helpers at home, feel free to call 6444**** and call for 'Mariyanah'. Rest assured, she makes the best job for you. Everything from changing your bedsheets (HOT PINK! *nudges Tim) to cleaning your pets' litter tray. EVERYTHING. She's fucken qualified. (:

EH YOUR HEAD LA. Knn. Don't call. HAHAHHAHAA.

Why that silly advertisement?
You should know the reason why aite.
It's sarcasm.

I was abruptly woken up by the ultra loud sound of construction drilling above my house. I was so tempted to fly upstairs and kill the construction workers there for whatever-reasons disrupting my so-much beauty sleep. FUCK. Irritating. I had difficulties going back to sleep, idiots.

Tomorrow is coming. It's so soon. Mom and I spent the whole of last night doing the 'gubahan' (decorations) and I was so stressed that I couldn't help talking a lot (it comes naturally when I'm stressed) So I talked to her about my first and last day crashing into MI, the subjects, the grand-ness at the prestigious Maris Stella High from MI, the irritating miang 23-year-old guy who wanted to get close with me so much at auntie's foodstall at Changi Village, complaining about Dad and etc etc..

Yeah, talking about Dad, so much for him wanting to help out with the chores which he promised 7845 millenium years ago, but in the end he ended up snoring in his bed the moment he got back from work all the way until tomorrow. Sis, on the other hand, comes back everyday after work at around 7.45 pm so that leaves her with her dinner and then maybe go to sleep till the next morning. So it kinda just left me and Mom doing ALL the housework so it kinda pained me a lot. Imagine, 2 weak women (physically) doing all those heavy chores without any help from other family members (useless) so I'm kinda physically drained right now. Come to think of it, I just woke up now at 12.07 pm, had my shower and decided to update for a while before:

1. Collecting all the dirty laundry from both bathrooms
2. Wash the dirty laundry
3. While waiting, I must sweep the house
4. Then I havta separate the clean laundry into 2 piles; lingerie/baby clothes and adult clothes
5. Dry the lingerie in the dryer
6. Hang the adult clothes outside
7. When the drying of the lingerie/baby clothes in the dryer is done, fold the lingerie/baby clothes
8. Clear up the mess in kitchen and hall
9. Change the bedsheets in my room
10. Clear up the mess in the room
11. Clear up the cupboard

At night,
Break the furniture in the hall into small components and stuff them inside the storeroom. (for space tomorrow)

And the worse thing is, I won't be able to sleep on the comfort of my own bed only for tonight cos apparently Mom wanna put all the 'gubahans' on my bed. FUCK.

Yesterday was so teruk la. Apart from the ever-irritating Di the Horny Sheep who never fails to irritate the hell out of me, Dad was suddenly mega-friendly to me which was similar to a nightmare for me, Sis was giga-polite with me and all these really freak me out. I was plunged into depression late at night and without realising it, I finished up my bar of Snickers and this morning I found the chocolate-y wrapper beside my bed. COCKROACH ALERT.

Mom and Baby Bro are out to White Sands to go to Courts and then Mom wanna buy her dream lip gloss. !@#$%^* Mom had been going out quite a lot these few days, and she told me today that she wants to relieve her stress by doing so- before the big day. WTF Mom? WHAT ABOUT ME? I've been locked up at home for nearly 2 weeks and I don't even have the chance to go out at all!? Like I'm not stressed like you. Yeah yesterday I wanted to go to the library but she won't allow. FUCK. Not fair.

I can't face the day on Saturday. Obviously it will be me again who havta do most of the work again cos apparently, the buffet-style will be replaced by manual serving instead. Which means, every 10 minutes I havta bring out the dishes by hand and top up every now and then, which is fucking tiring. I was 'traumatised' by what happened last two years when my other cousin got married. My 2 fellow friends and I havta help out cos there's a short of manpower because MY OTHER COUSINS including my Sis who brought her friends along, were simply too lazy to lift their delicate fingers to do all the work but instead, slacked around and only come to presence when the Kompang boys arrived. Optrex-ing. FUCK la. All the time they're either upstairs in my room lounging around and gossiping, or downstairs advertising themselves. Sorry, I'm just very pissed.

Then in this case, what about Saturday? Will it happen again?

Okay Imma better get my butt off now and do the chores mentioned above before Mom kills me.

intoxicated.

YES I'M UPDATING.

HAHAHAHHAHAHAH.
Okay enough.

The main reason I've been 'abandoning' this little baby is because I'm busy (chey) with the major spring cleaning. It's coming near. This coming Friday. CHEY. So I havta do the last-minute cleaning cos my aunt (ex-mother of the bride) will be coming here first to do the cooking. They'll be sleeping over here on Friday. So I'm like, tergetar-getar to keep the house in tip-top condition. Chey. No such word.

I cleaned out the cats' litter tray for the 3rd time. Luckily I don't suffer much urea inhalation cos apparently, the 'sand' absorb most of the STINKING smell, (like mine don't stink) so I inhaled only 20% of the thing.

And the smell, like usual, is lurking in my nostrils now though I'm like, 3 metres away from the litter tray.

THE CUPBOARD IN MY ROOM CRASHED DOWN.
Firstly it became the mini version of 'Leaning Tower Of Pisa', due to the bias human forces from the left side (by sis and me), the next thing I know, at night when Dad came to fix the direction, the whole cupboard just came crashing down like as if there's an invisible hijacked-plane came smashing into the cupboard from the left side. (with reference to the 9/11 incident) Sis was utterly upset cos she'll be the one forking out the money to buy the new cupboard before the big day. As she was contemplating and Mom and Dad lecturing us about the condition of the cupboard, how we didn't take care of it and stuff, but at the same time Dad was fixing the thing back. At the end of the night, the cupboard stood up there, proud. "TADA." It's already okay. I knew Sis was so elated inside but she decided to remain nonchalant. Irritator.

(All this because Sis and I still want to change our room arrangement despite Dad's warnings not to cos this will only constrict more room space, knowing that our room is already so small.)

What else now.
Oh. Blackie, for these few days, suddenly refused to sleep with me. I've been purring with him like a mad cow to coax him to sleep with me, but to no avail. I'm sad. Disappointed. Today I swept the house, he came running and purred to me, but instead, still feeling hurt on last night's account, I shoo-ed him away with my broom and stroked Brownie instead. I could see the hurt in Blackie's eyes, but what about mine!?

Now I'm having a hard time telling my brain to shut up cos apparently it has been happily screaming on I-don't-know-what and a lot of happy scenes keep playing in my mind till it distracted me from my work.

Yo.

I'm very sad. Cos I couldn't find my Giordano chocolate jeans at Tamp. 3 Gio outlets and none of size 27! LARGEST SIZE WAS 24. Cuzzie had a hard time consoling me.

But I'm very happy cos apparently, Cuzzie and I stepped into U2 and got myself a pair of corduroy (sp?) pants (as a replacement of that Gio jeans) YEAYH I ROCK.

(:

I'm so happy cos sis is jealous of my new pants! (:

Hello.

Just now I've made a mental blog in my head, but now I already forgotten it!

):

Brain boosters, anyone?

I am going to die soon. I'm having withdrawal symptoms. I only need "one thing". It is my source of life. Without "it" I will suffer. Indeed I'm suffering now. Please God, I want "that thing" so much. You should know it by now.

















































































































I FRIGGIN' WANT

THE SIMS 2!!!

I cleaned out my cats' litter tray. That was my 2nd- cos it has been my Mom who did the cleaning- throughout the 9 years they've been using the litter tray.

I gagged when I lifted up the first layer of the tray. I swear I looked ridiculous. The intensifying smell of urea was horrifyingly nauseating. I nearly died of excessive urea inhalation- surprisingly it wasn't the SHIT that overwhelmes my sense of smell. Then I havta remove 2 more layers of the litter tray and wash 'em clean. Even after that the smell of urea still lingers in my chamber of smells. I was feeling so sick.

Next on my list was scrubbing the toilet in my room.

Fortunately, scrubbing the toilet wasn't as bad as inhaling urea. I love the sight of the shimmering/glossy/glittering white tiles of the bathroom after my 20-minute intensive 'care'. Haha, quite short huh? Cos that is only PART ONE of cleaning the bathroom. Mom's gonna get VIM and new brush and then ta-daa, you will be blinded once you open the toilet door. (:

Gram's and I are excited cos Suria's showing 'Dia' tonight! She is as enthu as I am cos today's episode will air the story whereby, finally, the evil wicked bitchy assholic stepmother was caught in action by ever-so-handsome Ari Wibowo. HAHAHAHA.

(:

DON'T CALL ME BETWEEN 9.30PM TO 11.30PM COS I'LL BE GLUED TO MY TV.

I was abruptly awakened up by Dad's command to wake up immediately cos gram's coming over. It was raining, and I thought, maybe stealing a few minutes of sleep, snuggling under my comfy blankets would be a damn good idea, but Dad's second command that tore the silence in my room sent me an instant jolt that caused me to quickly grab a towel and make my way to the bathroom while still feeling groggy and in a state of disorientment.

Downed two bowls of Oreo O's for 'breakfast' though it was already past 12 pm. Then I ate two drumsticks from KFC and Thai Chilli Sauce. Sounds yummy?

Yours truly now is seriously feeling very bored. She's either gonna play 'cooking-cooking' with her younger sister or play NeoPets instead. -still in the period of ground-ment.

People,

I DID NOT GET MY GIORDANO CHOCOLATE JEANS!!!!

COS THEY DON'T HAVE MY FRIGGIN' SIZE!!

Yeah. You heard it. The biggest size was 24. But me, being the fat ass one having a waist of size 27, couldn't fit in.

And I nearly cried when I left the shop with my Mom. ):

I mean, you know how badly I want that pair of jeans!! It's like, so unique! Metallic brown in colour, that sort of thing.

Maybe I should find it at other Giordano outlets. *hoping VERY high*

That depressed me until I bought 4 different chocolates and orange juice to drown my sorrow-ness.

*tuning to Eminem's CLEANING OUT MY CLOSET*
I'm cleaning out my CUPBOARD.

YEAH. I fuckin killed 15 cockroaches today, REMEMBER THAT TIMOY. HAHA.
-minus the runnings around the kitchen each time a roach makes its way towards me.
the brown outline and long feelers.

(:

Forget it, Imma gonna get my chocolate Giordano jeans later with Mom! (: HAPPY HAPPY. That's my reward for painstakingly removing wastes excreted from cockroaches, killing 'em, and cleaning out the silverwares that have been badly stained by cockroaches' shit. WEE.

What is that thing that I'm not supposed to publicise? OH! MY SISTER! Guys, she SANG to the tune of BSB'S 'Larger than Life' and 'As long as you love me' though she freaking hates that
boyband cos it was so yesterday.

****************************************
Boy, do I really change that much? I mean, did I even CHANGED? The way I speak and stuff.. any difference? Damn, you attacked my weakest spot just now.

Mom, fortunately, didn't turn into a bitch today. Unlike last two days where she really became a total bitch. HAHA. But on the other hand, you should be blessed cos her daughter didn't inherit any of her bitchy genes. (:

Any objections?

There's no doubt I'm gonna end up being a Cinderella- minus Prince Charming.

Guess what? Series of spring cleanings have been thrown to me, and I swear I've worked out a hell lot of muscles cleaning, from arranging stuffs to killing irritating cockroaches. OMG COCKROACHES. WHITE cockroaches. Timoy must remember that.

I want to install The Sims 2 VERY VERY BADLY, but realising how slow my computer already is, I think that plan have to back off cos it will only deteriorate the slow-ness further.

I've been dying to go out, serious. But Mom simply won't let.

Fuck la I hate life in #04-1489.

2 oranges and one 1/10 watched movie (Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen) and 1/2 watched movie (Virgin- INDON!!). Products of boredom.

Was thinking of renting Mr & Mrs Smith DVD- (was at the peak of total boredom) but then I thought it'll be okay to forget it.

NOW WHAT SHOULD I DO?

NO PHONE CALLS, NO USING OF COMPUTER, NO GOING OUT, NO THIS, NO THAT. FUCK YOU.

Hey. I'm way past beyond near-death boredom. Mom simply won't let me go out. Reason being; she's afraid of whatever-shits-typical-teenage-doings she has been thinking unnecessarily would happen to me. Shit. She expects me to smoke and take drugs or something? WTF shit IS THIS? She knows, and she even heard me swore that I would never ever, in my life, touch a fuckin butt or get involved in any way with drugs right?! I have self-dignity and brains, for HER info.

REALLY PISSED OFF NOW.

!@#$%^&*()

No, I'm not going to rant on how much I wanna run away from home or even come to an extend of killing my parents, but right now I just wanna .. uhm, ah can't think of any.

So what do you do when your parents lock you up at home?

For me, I went to clean my worktable and clear all my stuffs. I was angrily banging all my stuffs into the big box and then proceeded to my room to erase all pencil-marks that have been left behind by my younger siblings on my cupboard door and arranged the stuffs on me and my sis' shelves properly and in order. I even turned up the radio so loud I think it could have burst my eardrums. I think I had sent Mom to a guilt trip cos at 2 pm, (we're still not on talking terms) she was in the kitchen, cooking, and she asked me whether I want 'roti prata' for lunch cos if I want, then she will cook it for me. Despite me not really liking Indian food (no offence), I still agreed cos I was friggin starving and I did that not for an act of being polite or courtesy. But come to think of it, for my entire life, Mom had never done such favours like that for me before. Pardon me.

Random; why can't "chauvinist" be used for females?

Followed Mom to Younger Bro's primary school in the afternoon. As usual, sights of cute little kiddies are inevitably everywhere. Mom and I had a mini hide-and-seek with the fussy security guard, just for the sake of wanting to take the lift to the second level. I repeat, a lift in a fuckin primary school. And I bought a chicken burger (the size of our school's burger) for only 60 cents. Half the price of the ones in school. MWAHAHA.

Had lunch at Yasalam. But after the lunch Mom suddenly said that she actually wanted to have lunch at Segar Restaurant- but she completely forgot all about it. AHH. Next time, Mom. I promise.

Oh oh. There's a piece of good news to those who are envious of my body's inability to expand horizontally, here I would gladly announce that I'm growing fat. Mom noticed my big tummy after lunch (once again, no growing foetus inside!) and told me that a person who's gonna grow fat usually starts with a big tummy (additional of 78974564 levels of fats around the waist), then the body will grow big. Shyt. I'm at stage one of growing fat. Now Di will have a jolly good time calling me 'Fat Garfield'. If he did I think I'm gonna suffocate him under my fats. Whether he likes it or not.

Next, Mom made a good deal to me. Since my cousin's gonna have his akad nikah (legalisation of marriage) at my place on the 21st Jan, I, including my sister and others will havta sweat a lot for major spring cleaning. I havta clean the cabinets and the silverware, and the good news is, Mom's gonna give me reward! HAHA. And you know what's the reward?! Nah, not monetary. But, she will buy me the chocolate Giordano jeans that I've been eyeing for! DOUBLE HAPPINESS. I like I like I like! Since there will be a major shopping this Saturday, most probably I'm gonna get my jeans on that day! (Provided I must impress her with my super cleaned silverware that I'm supposed to work on. Fuckshit.)

I can't wait to get that jeans. (:

And I'm going to cut my hair in a fashion that it could be "spiked up" and done in the "messy hairstyle." I've been wanting that hairstyle ever since I first saw it, but as usual, Mom and Dad objected to that hairstyle which they claimed as "boyish". Now I shall not care and just go for that hairstyle. Whether they like it or not. (:

I want to get my results very soon so I can start getting myself busy and not DECOMPOSE AT HOME. Whether I like it or not.

STUDY HARD PEOPLE. (applies to everybody who wears the waitress/waiter/security guard/cockroach-like uniforms)

My parents suck.

Period.

Why must they scrutinize my every movement?!

LIKE I'M DOING SOMETHING WRONG.

Fuckyounabeycheebye.

I friggin' hate you.
Now I shall grant your wish;

"I won't bother you anymore for the rest of your fucking life."

Stay happy. My lips remain sealed.

My parents and Baby Bro are out to Johore. WOOHOOO home ALONE! But until 4pm though, cos my younger sis and younger bro will be coming home from school. Home not alone again. *sigh*

Went emo yesterday night. Ugh, something to kill time before I can finally doze off. Thought of all the sadness in 2005, things that crashed my heart (literally!) , and stuffs go on and on. 2005 had been the most 'happening' year. And seriously, it brought more trouble, knowing how irritatingly conservative my parents are. Do this cannot, do that cannot, you understand, that sort of things? Pained friendship with bestie, and annoying arguments with boyfriend. NOW, I shall PUT THE PAST BEHIND and move on. I treat everyday like the last day of my life, so I can enjoy doing things before He took my breath away, my last meal, last conversation, last kiss cuddles hugs, last of everything, before He calls me Home. (: divine, divine.

I don't understand what I'm talking about, serious.

Looks like I havta cook something for myself now cos Mom just cooked fried rice- which she KNOWS that I DON'T EAT FRIED RICE- before she, Dad and Baby Bro left! SHYT. She better get me burgers and Dunkin' Donuts from Johore later. OR ELSE! Chey, threatening ey? HAHA.

Once again, I would like to emphasise on how Timoy can make a very good best-to-crap-with friend.

school woes

It feels so odd, not being in school today. I mean, I certainly DO NOT need to go to school now, just waiting for my results in Feb. But, I'm so used to adjusting my bio clock to 6.30 am the day before school reopens, and I normally have to iron my school uniform with that dread feeling at 10.30pm and hang it beside my bed, and wish that I won't havta go to school the next day.

I woke up at 10.45am, automatically making a mental note that if I'm still in school now, I'll probably be waiting for Amira outside her class with Hannie and we'll go down to the canteen for recess together. Seriously, I missed those times. I can picture the hectic-ness during the first day of school today, the lost faces in sec ones and the 'act-big' attitude that will be portrayed by the current sec fours from now on. haha, make me wanna step on their faces right now.

Now, like right now, I've been staying at home and slowly getting myself to turn into a potato couch. This is evident through the hours I've spent in front of the tee vee, like on Sunday, I hung on to the tv at 2 pm to watch 'Embun' and then continued watching all the way until 11pm. The last show was 'Dia'. Damn I'm getting hooked to that Indon series. (: Grams' gonna love this, man. Then I was like, shayt, I'm gonna get addicted to tv now, it's dangerous.

I still haven't completed reading "Deception Point" though. The Da Vinci Code is coming to the movies, really?! I WANT I WANT I WANT. (:

As long as I'm indoors, I've much lesser things to blog. Wait till I'm outdoors then you'll expect a long post about my finally-free outing.

Rocquer dudette,

I'M BLOGGING. IN 2006. YEAHHUHUHUHUHU~

I'm lost. Shayt. I'm lost. Like, really lost. YEAH. I'm lost in a BOOK. "Deception Point" by Dan Brown. I'M LOST IN THAT BOOK. The book is unputdownable. I stayed up to 3 am and managed to read half the book. And the moment I wake up today, I read it again. I think I'm sick. Now I'm blogging to tell you that you should read it too. And I wanna see you get hooked to the book. I like.

I miss so many people. I miss you, you, you, you, you and you. All of you. FUCK YOU.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Brownie and Blackie were crossed with me last night. Both of them didn't want to sleep with me. I think I had annoyed them with my constant screamings at their faces in the day, and that explains their annoyance to me. SHAYT. Today I will not scream at their faces anymore.

I'M BLIND. HUAHAHAUAHAUA

Bite me. What a crap start to the year.

OOOO HAHAHAH I REMEMBERED!! TOMORROW everyone will go back to school. And endure another year of pure hell torture slaving under the teachers! GOOD LUCK TO ALL OF YOU EH? HAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAA.

I'm an exception because I'm waiting for my 'O' levels results!! (: HAHA I'm having a good life!! LIFE IS BBEEAAUUUTTIIIFFFUULLLLLLLLLL.. SO BEAUTIFUL TO MEEEEEEEEEEE

KFLAJSJDKLUWIREOTHSGFISDAJFASLJDSAFSA.

Someone better kill me now.