Chequie,

HEY. THIS is my last post for 2005. FUCKITFUCKITFUCKIT. (:

Timoy makes a best-to-crap-with- friend.
"We hang out at the beach and chilled at McCafe, walked through the stone thingy and claimed that there's a whale underneath us that shoots Pepsi wrapper and 7-eleven Big Gulp cup out from its mouth, and sat down infrontof 2 most interesting guys who tried really hard to appear cool but failed miserably, and crapped a lot of shayts. It's like, dawmn, I love talking rubbish. And then the gift. (: I'm gonna bang the drums a lot now. I have a nice time with you today."



Timoy a.k.a Mr Koo-koo. And yours truly.


And my girls and the 2 pimps. HAHA. (: Thanks for the treat ya! I mean, it's like really OUTRAGEOUS. I wanna cry!!



Why I love my girls.
And I love my balloon too! It's still hanging up in the air in my room! (:



Notice how happy I am. Those are my presents in my hand, but I shall keep those confidential cos they're way too special, thus explains the blurry image. I won't let you know. (:


I NEED MORE CYCLING WITH MY GIRLS + QAMAL + AMIRUL!!







FUCKYOUALL!! YOU ALL ROCKS!!! (: I HAVE THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (:

Peace. Format of my blog for 2006 will be different. Stay tuned.

Chequie,

I'M 16 TODAY! I'M 16 TODAY! I'M 16 TODAY! I'M 16 TODAY! I'M 16 TODAY!

Birthday celebration in less than 2 hours time! (:

My smile stretches from Antarctica to Europe!! (:

I'm feeling so elated I could like, go kiss everybody now! (:


Ooh btw something really touching happened last night. It was 11.40pm ya know, I was in my room with my sis, counselling her about something, when at 12 am she abruptly left the room and made a call to her sang arjuna. So I went to the hall and she told me to go to sleep since she will sleep later, so I just trotted off to my room and flung myself to bed when SUDDENLY, I heard a shuffling of plastic bag under my pillow. I jumped in surprise. I ran my fingers onto the plastic and fingered two boxy items, so I was pondering, what the fuck is this. I was about to scream to my sister for leaving her garbage on my bed- she was intending to throw the garbage but she left it on my bed- or another impossible guess, mom bought revision books for me!? -.-" So I switched on the lights and TO MY HORROR, those were actually 2 boxes of CHOCOLATES and I found an 'Exorcism of Emily Rose' postcard with my name written on top right hand corner of the card!! (: So I read the birthday message which was carefully written by sis, and I was close to tears! I immediately ran out- with the presents clutched in my hands- and just threw my arms around her and kissed her! (: This perfectly strategized surprise definitely thrilled me! I mean, she was the first one at the right time (12.07 am) to start my birthday with this pleasant surprise! (: Once again I'm very very happy. And then she told me that the Guylian chocolates were from her boyfriend while the Delfi ones were from her. So she passed me the phone and I thanked her boyfriend for the Guylian chocolates (It's fuckin exquisite, I tell you!) and I asked him, how come he knew that I love Guylian chocolates? YOU KNOW WHAT'S HIS ANSWER? "Cos I know you love guys and you're an ah lian, so put it together, GUYLIAN!" I nearly died on the spot. And seeing how jovial I was, he even advised me not to go jump down the building.

In the wee hours, sis and I shared the chocolates together, despite her desperately not wanting to eat chocolates as she's on a diet! Look how influential I am! (: We started the Guylian ones first, and trust me, the milliseconds before you pop the exquisite, rich chocolates into your mouth, you can actually get an orgasm. -the passion and the climaxing before you savour it.- Chocolates are so sexual. I don't need a husband already!

WHEEE. I'M SO FUCKIN HAPPYY. (:

I'M16I'M16I'M16I'M16I'M16I'M16I'M16I'M16I'M16I'M16I'M16I'M16I'M16.

Chequie,

Just got back home. Went to collect sis' uniform that has been on hold due to the shortage of uniforms of her size during the registration day. Mom was seriously pissed cos the in-charge didn't inform her that sis' uniform can already be collected despite convincing her on that registration day that she will call Mom once it's ready, until I had to call the in-charge personally to enquire when I can collect sis' uniform and she just replied, "Ahh, can collect now onwards already."

So now I'm like, seriously tired. Lately I've been staying at home often, and suddenly I just feel so lazy to go out, you know. So I'm like, starting to love rotting at home. And I just bought purple contact lenses. What I hate about it now is, this brand doesn't make my pupils appear bigger, instead it makes it look smaller, so I kinda look like I'm having snake eyes. I love the previous brand that I wore, cos it makes my pupils look large and when I'm stoning, pardon me for saying this, I look like a doll. (:

Doll-eyed. BAHH.

So I havta live with this small-pupiled (whatever!) lenses. BITCH.

I'm going to enjoy life from tomorrow onwards. We shall see how.

Note to you; I'm turning 16 tomorrow!! (Like, finally?!)

That will be the time of my life.


You are the hot one.

Chequie,

I finally knew how to make OREO ICE BLEND. =))

I mix 2 oreo cookies, some milk, some melted sugar, and a bowl full of blended ice and blend them all. I LOVE TO SEE THE COOKIES BREAK AND DISSOLVE WITH THE MIXTURE, TURNING IT BROWN. =))

Now my Oreo Ice Blend has the same standard like the one in Parkway Parade. WOOOHOO.

Only YOU.

Chequie,

Jujurlah padaku bila kau tak lagi setia. Tinggalkanlah aku bila tak mungkin bersama. Jauhi diriku, lupakanlah aku selamanya.

Omg, since when am I so emo? I'm soooo not into malay songs, lor!

Heyyyyy.. heyyyyy babyy! (ooh! aah!)
I wanna knowww...
If you'll be my girl..

Fucking catchy lah that song. "Hey baby" by Dj Otzi. Still remember the time at prom night where I was dancing wildly to that song! HAHA.

Okay now I wanna indulge in snnacckkkssss. Fuck la, yesterday night I just had rounds of jogging at the park and crunches and sit ups and stuffs, now they're all USELESS.

Fucking idiot nabey cheebye.

Chequie,

Firstly, MERRY CHRISTMAS to all! =))

Secondly, I wanna kill my sister for being so emo-momo and it's seriously irritating me when she tuned in all those slow sad songs about breaking up (she's not the one breaking up lor, yet she's the one feeling sad!!) . !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thirdly, I wanna announce that I'm now officially a FULL TIME HOUSEWIFE, but sadly, no husband! HAHA! Doing household chores seem to be a replacement for not working.

Fourthly, now I'm going to fry the chicken that I've painstakingly marinated!!

BYEEEEEEEEEEE.

*btw, doing crunches are painful.

The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall.

Chequie,

The bombshell. I'm trying to take things easy now so I won't get out of control. I've sucked enough bitterness from you, now it's okay if you just let me go. Gone, okays?

There's no point checking my phone every now and then for your sms or call.

I'm not letting depression take over me. Certainly no-no.

But seriously right now, like, RIGHT NOW, I'm not okay.

Chequie,

I got a feeling that Dad's gonna kill me very soon. If not the literal action of killing, then maybe it meant being killed by his words.


There's a truth in your eyes, saying you'll never leave me.

Chequie,

I'm currently addicted to this Japanese song from Full House. Had to go to XP's blog each time I wanna hear it. Though the language is foreign and I have absolutely no source to translate it into English, I don't mind. The song is way nice.

Ooh. Went down to CDC very late. About 2pm? By the time I reached there, everybody was like, slacking!? Haha. Ammjays, Ian and Jian were playing cards and I was just lazing around on the beanbags. HOOH. Then Timoy came and joined us. YO DUDE. =)) But then Ammjays, Ian and Jian were caught, technically, by Zatan for playing cards and they each had to write 200 lines of, "I will not play cards in the volunteer lounge again." It was alot okay. So Hanna, Timoy and I helped to write. HAND PAIN. I wrote about 80+ lines. Pathetic.

Headed down to LJS to eat. JIAN HAD SUPER BIG APPETITE. OMG. He ordered two combos! And there was this irritating housefly buzzing at our place. FUCKYOUHOUSEFLY. Oops.

Slacked back at the lounge but then WeiGuo told us we have 15 mins left cos Zatan wants to close the lounge at 4.30pm. HOLYCOW. Played 'Bluff' (cards again!) discreetly and I BLUFFED Jian a lot of times! HAHA. Ian won the game btw. That skunk.

Everybody have somewhere to go after the so-called meeting. Ammjays will be going to her korkor's Christmas party (SO GOOD!!! =(( ), Soh and Jian going out, I suppose, (aww romantic), Timoy and Ian going to the Amazing Race committee's sleepover party at XiaoJun's place (WAY COOL, I WANNA SLEEPOVER PARTY TOO..) and Jerome and this girl, I donnoe go where. Hmm. I'm the only one going home.

I came to a point where I HATE being lonely. There was this aura of sadness and melancholy engulfing me and I suddenly felt so depressed. In the bus I was plagued with a lot of thoughts, thoughts of 'why's. All questions were punctuated with question marks. Millions of 'why's. I could not answer them. It was disappointing, really. I am disappointed with myself. On the way back home, I walked with my head hanging low. Kept on walking though there were mats calling me here and there. FUCKYOUALL. I think I have a mild schizophrenia coming on cos I kept feeling that everybody's eyes were on me, humiliating and looking down on me like I am a dirty whore. But cast aside that negative thinkings. I'm not having a mental illness.

Because the other half is gone. Half of my life is empty.

But then, everything should be okay by tomorrow alright? Hopefully....

Dad won't let me work anymore (after the record-breaking events of quitting job after few hours). Now I'm in the midst of wanting to groan or heave a sigh of relief. Bad thing about not working is, the number of hours spent rotting at home will obviously outnumber the number of hours I spent outside. Butttttt the good thing is, Mom promised to let me go out after the boxes on my housework checklist are all ticked, and mom and MAYBE dad will give me $$ for my expenses and other expenditures.. WOOOOOOOO. But hell, I wanna see at least a thousand bucks in my bank account each time I check my acc balance on the ATM machine, so that I can feel the exciting rush of exhilaration washing over my body before I can zap cash cash out from the machine! =)

Now time to comfort myself. At least if I didn't work I am able to spend my life freeely unlike working people who havta slave themselves under their bossy bosses and major hours of the day. HMM. But heartpain lah.

Yes that's my shorty doowap...


The smile on your face lets me know that you need me.

Chequie,

I miss Hannie very much. Hanisah Bte Hamzah. You're being missed badly.



Those times in school. Btw that's Hannie in front, I'm the one BEHIND. I'm sitting cross-legged and looking melancholic.



During prom. I'm in blue. She's in this red hot sexy number.

I MISS YOU.

Chequie,

I've got 'em. The pics from the Amazing Race's event! =))



The three of us in LLARRGGEEEE shirts.



In the pick-up lorry. On the way back.



Ammjays the trend-setter. (Appallingly over-sized shirt and flour-smeared.)

Introducing you the FLOUR PEOPLE,



Poor Hanna. She's very innocent.



Jian Hong. He's in my group. But failed to escape from the flour monsters.



Ian. My paintball dude. Another innocent guy.



The 3 wackos. Ammjays, Farid and Hanna. I suppose Ammjays and Farid were the masterminds of this flour-smearing activity. So everybody let's shoot them.

Pictures aren't that much cos Ammjays was stationed at different booths. But I have pictures too- using Polaroid. AHAHA.



SHOOT SHOOT. BANG BANG. Zatan's Angels! On the stage, btw.



OMG I LOVE THIS PIC.





The insane SYAs.

I'm going to die from chocolate and book-reading overdose any sooner. Know why? That's the only way to kill boredom.

Mom's pms-ing really bad. The evil side of me wanted to fling the desk fan on her desperately cos she's been using her vocal cords a little too excessively, ranging from endless naggings and constant screamings. I think I need a job now to minimise the hours I spent at home. Hahaha. Jobbies, where are you??

Boredbored. I was wondering whether I should meet up with Mira and Qamal later since they're at the movies since this afternoon.. but Mira had to go off early.. so most probably I'll be outside for less than an hour and then back home. BUANG CURRENT.

I crave for Rhumba from Starbucks.


If only I could freeze that moment for eternity..

Chequie,

I made another record-breaking event:
"I didn't go out today."

Pretty weird eh. Usually the moment I wake up, there will be this automatic message in my brain reminding me of where I will be going for that particular day, including the number of minutes I should take my shower, put on my clothes and groom before getting my bum out from the house. But today was different. I was set to laze at home for the whole day.

Called Amira up and we conferenced with Qamal. They invited me to go to the movies with them to watch King Kong but I have to decline, partly because my dad isn't working today, and plus, I just got the feeling that I shouldn't step out from the house today for unknown reasons. So for the next few hours I was so occupied with my sister's book and lazed around next to granny.

And then another call in the afternoon, that totally changed my perception of somebody.

I broke down and cried. I wanted to talk to somebody instantaneously in the house, but obviously, no one. I am not on talking terms with mom and dad, and certainly not my granny cos she's the strictest momma unknown to humanity. So I called up my sister who was at work. But before that I was trying hard to sound nonchalant. So I was greeted by her muffled voice- sheesh, she's at office!- and I just let it out, but at that time I was trying hard not to cry again because my voice will sound squeaky and it will totally embarass me- everyone knows Mariyanah, she don't like to cry infrontof any human presence, it will shatter her ego- But alas I did. She was comforting me and giving me advices. Damn it made me feel better. I should roll out the red carpet the moment she gets back home later.

Well, I simply don't wanna brood over what had happened, so I shall remain at peace now.

I desperately wanna work out. In the gym, pool, stadium, whatever. My tummy isn't the flat land like it used to be (BRAGGING ALERT!) anymore. It looks like there's a basketball stucked in the tummy- okay this is a bit of an exaggeration here-. Just put it in simple summary, my tummy is growing big (Alert: NO growing foetus inside!) I think I shall do crunches, a workout that I really LOATH because it's so nerve-wrecking. But due to the desperate aim to have the flatness back, I shall do that. And maybe I should do something to my skinny arms. Even if I flex it, the lines of my arms remain parallel. I want a bit of bumps there. Carry weights? OMG. *cringes* BUT IF NOT NOW, THEN WHEN? So I shall carry my Baby Bro with one arm everyday. He must weigh less than 10kg, I suppose. On the other hand, I'm gonna start working out.

HOLD IT. If at this time you're concluding that I'm going through the phases of aneroxia, I'M GONNA SMACK YOUR ASS. I'm stick-thin. The mirror proves it correctly to me because I like standing infrontof the mirror stark naked to see how small the width of my body without being deceited by any fabric. I'm not aneroxic, you half-wit.

Holy cow. I'm having my period for the 2nd time in one month. This irregularity had stopped few months ago, but why this sudden comeback? Well, I think my body has went equally insane as me.

Anyway, just something to rant now, this is directed to someone:

"You make insensible comments about my time spent with my friends. You over-exaggerate every microscopic details and even added BULLSHIT, CRAP AND NONSENSICAL COMMENTS to your PETTY complaints. "I rather die than being emotionally tortured this way.." "Leave me if you want to carry on with this kind of attitude" "I am so stressed with you that I fell sick" "You abandon me alone." and BLAH BLAH BLAH. I don't buy those kind of exaggerated comments. You think you can guilt-talk me but instead I find your childish rantings LAME and I'm even growing SICK of it. What do you take me as? PUPPET? Somebody whom you think you should lock at home? I have my OWN LIFE, I'm trying to grow as a PERSON, but YOU think I should STICKWITHYOU for 84950723047530927540062435 hours. YOU WANT ME TO DISCARD MY FRIENDS. HELL NO. I have MOREEEE friends than you. I LOVE MY FRIENDS. Who the fucking hell are you to restrict me from going out with my friends. Each time I go out with either of them, you'll go complaining and say that I prioritised my friends MORE than you and you say you will feel LEFT OUT when the fact is that YOU'RE JUST BEING PLAIN CHILDISH AND WHAT'S MORE, OVER-POSSESIVE. Yes you OVER-POSSESIVE, CONTROLLING, SELF-DOMINANT FREAK. Once again I would like to emphasise on how OVER-POSSESIVE you are. I know that indirectly, you won't let me have friends at all. NO I WON'T LISTEN TO YOU. I would love to stress that I HAVE MY OWN FUCKING LIFE. I know you will beep me later and say, "You want to lead your own life so much right, now go ahead and don't talk to me anymore." CONFIRM, 100% GUARANTEE you will say that. You're just so predictable. Don't you think you're so fucking petty and childish, and worse, NARROW-MINDED? Of course, if you beep my phone and say the same exact thing, I will LAUGH hysterically and just delete your worthless message. Now you think I'm cruel? Of course not. I'm NEVER cruel. You're not my husband or whatever. You're just fathering me, and don't you know that your attitude is WORST than my father? I'm not going to let go of my social life just like that just because you think I SPENT TOO MUCH TIME WITH MY FRIENDS when the fact is I NEVER DID. You tried so hard to seek my attention by exaggerating and exaggerating, psycho-ing me to abandon my friends and guilt-talking me, all that shit, asking for sympathy but NO, I'm not sympathetic enough to pity you. I DON'T LIKE TO BE CONTROLLED. I'm NOT a robot for you to programme. WHATEVER. You may be my other half but that doesn't mean that you can completely control my life. My life is mine. Yours is yours. I've never even asked you to discard your friends, and now you want a similar retribution from me? Who the fucking idiotic hell ask you to abandon your friends? You expect the same treatment from me also but guess what? My list of friends are growing. You told me that you DON'T LIKE my camp friends, but indeed you don't like ANY OF MY FRIENDS. Bullshitting. I've been restricted enough by my parents and I would appreciate it if YOU DON'T WORSEN THE SITUATION. I don't need any more people to load another burden on my shoulders and restrict me further to do any more things. But YOU just did. In the latest encounter you FOLLOWED my tactic and backfired everything, you tried to conceal your MISTAKES by guilt-talking me even further, but I should remind you once more that I HAVE BRAINS. You backfire the situation by telling me not to contact you anymore until I finally realise how important you are a top from my friends. HELL, you think I would break down and cry while reading the message but for fuck's sake, I DIDN'T. I felt NOTHING. I won't TALK, SPEAK, CONTACT you till the end of my life until you finally put yourself in my shoes and understand my commitments with my friends as well as my outside projects. I'm not being egotistical here, IT'S YOU. Once again I shall not be bothered by your petty ramblings anymore because I'm growing SIIICCCKKKKKKKK and TIREEDDD of this! It BORES me so much, do you know that? I shall just keep quiet and give you ALL the space to brood, cry, complain, bang your head against the wall and rant more with your childish comments until you finally GROW UP to become a normal person with what-you-call-that, oh, BRAINS! Right now I shall not BOTHER YOUUUUUUU. HAVE FUN meddling with your life, doesn't your cousins evolve around you?"

So before you shoot more craps to me with all your what-you-suppose-is-true but SHIT after you read this honest claims of mine, YOU BETTER THINK TWICE.

jammingjammingjammingjammingjamming


Your smile sets my soul on fire.

Chequie,

I just came back home. From East Coast park. TIRED.

There was Amazing Race cum Family Day event, so I havta come down to help. And Soh gave me a shirt sized LAARRRGGGEEEEE. Imagine skinny Mariyanah with a size S or possible, XS, wearing an L. I looked like a hanger. Then I was stationed at the Indian booth. Got hold of the POLAROID camera!! WOOO I LOVE IT. It was BBIGG, and I held the role of the photographer. The competitors were supposed to wear the traditional costume and I took their pic. I went biking alone. The wind was AWESOME. Swish-swished my hair. HAHA.

Ended at 12. The pick-up lorry fetched my team and I was surrounded with monsters in flour. Scared. They looked as if they're gonna smear me with flour any moment. ESP AMMJAYS. Melise and I had a hard time running for our lives when we saw Hanna mixing the flour with water. Then we went as far to the bowling alley. Weird.

BORED. Watched the band performing, and then I had a good time singing the song 'Pudar' with them. Zarif was laughing at me. BAD BAD GUY.

Soon after that Ammjays, Hanna and I went beaching. Something crude happened at the sledge of huge rock where we sat, it was so unbearable that I was so affected and morally outraged. I shall not elaborate.

Met up with the SYAs and we went bowling. But then due to some problems they decided to go to Katong's. Ammjays couldn't make it. I wanted to kill her so much. So we walked. And then Tomo sang 'Pudar', naturally, I went bonkers. I turned around and he sticked his tongue out and said, "Whhhaattt?" I nearly whacked his hair with my bag. Then we sang that song. We came to a stop at this wall where I was struggling to push myself up and sit with the rest of them. Surprisingly, both Farid and Tomo complimented me about something. KEMBANG SEY MENA. They had actually observed about my way of doing things during the SYA camp. WOA. I was being OBSERVED. Haha. Esp Tomo. He even imitated the way I usually sit down on the floor during camp. And Farid went to the chim details of the way I do my things. Hmm.

I piggy-backed Hanna. She was screaming cos her ducks could be seen. I didn't knew I was so strong.

The moment we reached Katong, the bowling place was full. So the group havta turn around. They wanted to go Esplanade or Parkway or something, but I didn't follow. Instead, Zarif, Farid, Tomo and I took bus 14 home. Haha. I was the only girl there, left pimpin'. Chey. Slept all the way throughout. Farid and Tomo were talking about jamming and bands. I was holding back an outrageous laughter when I got to know something. *will tell AMMJAYS, SAB AND HANNA. BIG SECRET. But I pretended to sleep. They were so engrossed with the stuffs. When my station was a few metres away, I stood up, trying very hard to put on a calm face. Farid went, "MARRRIIAAA" and I was dead embarassed. Tomo was like, "Kau turun sini eh?" I nodded. Obvious right. I nearly knocked my head against the fire-extinguisher glass box, you know, the one beside the stairs in the double-decker, cos I was too groggy and tired. WTH. Seleng-ok. HAHA. CBB.

Today, this SYA, I-don't-know-his-name, taught me something new, not really new, but I haven't been using that phrase for quite a looonnggg time,

"Son of a bitch."

Bored. This entry seems to be typed so simply, and draggy. Pardon me for that. On the other hand, I don't know why today's entry was so detailed. Maybe because I had been letting my fingers do the typing cos, honestly speaking, my mind is actually left at somewhere else. So as you can see, I'm not really focused here. If my mind is not coming back to me, that means I am going to lose my mind.

Pics will be uploaded soon.

That's all for now. I shall sleep till the end of the world.


The song he sang.

Chequie,

When teens roam aimlessly in the streets..



At Starbucks;













In a small cubicle with mirrors;



















Had to leave at 4.30pm cos I had to attend a SYA C2 meeting at CDC..

In the volunteer's lounge, Jerome and Kash shot me with THEIR BALLS, as revenge cos I shot them earlier.

I'm innocent.



I am in the center, fyi. With headgear and the cloth, I look like a refugee.

Then the meeting.

And then Ammjays and I did the 'TOMO'S SIGNATURE POSE'. I joined in the attempt and Tomo pulled me into the picture..



Not good enough. Ammjay's hand was bent too much and I didn't open my mouth. That is Tomo behind, with his infamous pose.



Aaah. Perfect!


After the meeting;



I'm the receptionist. HELLO? Sexy Ammjays is the customer. HOI!



YOU irritate me, and I hit you. Or Ammjays gonna stuff that Christmas hat filled with kutus into your mouth.


That's all for today. Going down?




I am not a happy person today.

Chequie,

I'm seriously feeling very bored now.

COS I QUIT MY JOB AFTER ONE DAY OF WORKING.

Imma record-breaker in quitting jobs in a short period of time.

And I miss them. (random) Thank God I found you.

Chequie,

I'm having withdrawal symptoms, from the camp. It's normal. Scenes where Sabirah (The Crouching Tiger) and Ammjays (The Laughter) laughed hysterically and so on kept playing in my head and I ended up laughing all alone. I could not believe Sabirah could go wacky and laugh till like that. And Ammjays have an awesome laughter. She turns red and she sounded like the insides of her throat will come out any moment. HAHA. They don't look like what you seem. You'll love the crazy side of them. And Hanna laughs like a baby girl. I don't know why.

I still remembered the time where Bryan will sneak into our room at midnight (his Gay hours) and will gossip with us, give us info about so-and-so, and even turned him on with the SEXY HIPPO dance. HAHAHAHHAHAHA. And the "banging of heads against the wall" and the sharing sessions about The Hair (where I squished his most prized possession while doing the Human Ladder), and just to let you know, Sabirah scratches a lot. You may seem she's the serious councillor and boring, dull girl, but you haven't seen the other side of her. She loves to point while laughing hysterically and that made me laugh as well.

And Timoy. Memories memories. You were there when I had a black-out, with a pinch of worriness drawn onto your face.

I learnt a lot. I learned how to be a better person. I learned to control my emotions and open up. But then, it's hard to accept the truth if somebody won't accept your changes.

They're there for me. My friends. And my sister.

Okay. Time to spice things up.

A convo between a couple in the camp who are self-professed husband and wife.

Their first conversation that opens a new beginning between both of them.
"Wife": (approaches the guy nonchalantly) We need to talk.
"Husband": Shoot it.
"Wife": I wanna divorce you. I've found someone new.
"Husband": !!!
"Wife": But I still love you.
"Husband": Yes, I'm madly in love with you too.
"Wife": Okay so let's not get divorced.

It was unintentional. She meant it jokingly. From a simple jokey convo like that and it kinda opened a new beginning between them. Not in a serious way.

Sweet lah. Both of them are of different races. One of them is a Chinese, the other one a Malay. It shall be undisclosed. But they clicked very well. Till it came to an incident where when they sat together in the bus, the girl fell asleep onto his shoulders. And then there was a flash. Someone took picture of them. And when the girl confronted the photographer, the photographer could only say, "This is what we call, RACIAL HARMONY." Yeah. Just because they are Racial Harmony Senior Youth Ambassador and they're attending a Racial Harmony camp, this is a coincidence. And another incident, where the groups were preparing their project presentation in the comp lab. And the girl was very tired and exhausted, she leaned on the guy's shoulders to take a nap at the back of the lab, where lights were purposely dimmed. Only both of them. And suddenly the couple saw a flash. They opened their eyes and saw the photographer quickly sneak away and others pretend to do their own stuffs.

On the last day, they couldn't let go of each other.

Alighting the bus, (last day)
"Husband": (pushes his friends aside gently) Where's my wife? Where's my wife? I need to find her.
"Wife": (pretends to hide behind her friend)
"Husband": There you are.
The guy and the girl hugged each other tight.
"Wife": I'm gonna miss you, lao guong (sp?)
"Husband": Me too.

Inter-racial "relationship" for only 5 days. Don't you pity them?


The smile on your face
Lets me know
That you need me
There's a truth
In your eyes
Saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says
You'll catch me
Whenever I fall
You say it best
When you say
Nothing at all

The Hair sang that. It's bbeeyyoouuuttiiffuull. "When You Say Nothing At All" by Ronan Keating. The Hair was from Sri Warisan/Professional Hip Hop dancer has enough qualities to drive Hanna crazy. But he ________. Yuck.

Projects coming up soon. I'll be busy.

Oh. The last day. There's reflections. Ammjays paired up with me. Had a mini heart-to-heart. It's supposed to be like that. "In one minute, say things that will help to improve your partner because you care." And Ammjays did. It moved me to tears but I held it back. This is the soft side of Ammjays that I've never seen before. I've never been acknowledged like that before. It was sincere and smooth. I was so touched that I immediately gave her a big tight hug. I could see the shock in her face. And words from me came out honestly and sincerely.

Then I realised, the girlfriends in my camp (Sab, Hanna and Ammjays) are worth to be treasured, just like my 2 best girlfriends (Hannie and Mira). You made my life beautiful. All of you.

Sab; I never knew you were so understanding and wacky.
Hanna; Your soft personality touches me. Esp your never-ending apologizes.
Ammjays; My appreciation goes a lot to you. You were the closest. Vitamin K, The Hair and all. If you are reading this, I just wanna let you know that you're being acknowledged and I salute you.

Not forgetting my two other best girls, you're the best.

And my sister too. =))

Finally my life is becoming happier.

Chequie,

The RHSYA was a camp that I would never ever forget.

I'm now officially a Racial Harmony SENIOR Youth Ambassador. HAHA. WEEEE.

I'll never forget what happened. The impact it left on me. And everything. TIMOY (The Husband). AMMJAYS (The laughter). SAB (The Crouching Tiger/Goddess of the night). HANNA (The Diver). Wasiyatomo Farid (The Hair). Farid (The Scratch). BRYAN (The Gay). Wan. XP. Soh. Jian. Heng Wei. Fathimah. Amirah. Aslam. Pachara. Eli. WG. Ian. Sarah. Ruth. Zarif. Charmaine. And most imptly, ZATAN. Without him, I won't be a RHSYA. Thanks guys. You made my experience fruitful and worth it. Imagine $510 spent per person for the camp. And Jumpin' Jacq. You rock. Thanks for the advice you gave me till I shattered my ego by crying in front of the people.

One man,
One desire,
HIS HAIR. (puts both hands near the head and shakes the head left right!)

Four women,
One desire,
THE BED.

One man,
One desire,
THE GAY. (Gay actions)

One man,
One desire,
THE SCRATCH. (pulls one shoulder's sleeve violently.)

One woman,
One desire,
KABOOM!! (dives onto the bed!)

One woman,
One desire,
THE LAUGHTER. (AHAHAHHAHAHAEHHEHHEHEHEHHOHOHOH!!)

One woman,
One desire,
PAISEEHHH! (runs two fingers down the face.)

One woman,
One desire,
Crouching tiger! (RRAAWWRRR and do the scratching action.)

But the most popular one;

MARIA? (pretends to open the door) Porkera ini amigo Kuchi-kuchi...

They called me 'Maria' in the camp. And I had a hard time shutting the guys' mouths up because they kept reciting the line.

I'm starting work on Monday. WEEEEE~!

P.s; AMIRA, HANNIE. I MISS YOU GUYS. =)

Chequie,

Yes, yes, I know. I should be in the camp now. Like, NOWWW. To clear your enquiries, I AM in the camp. MWAHAHAHAH. But I'm in the comp lab, cos I have a project presentation tomorrow, but then I kinda completed my work already, so I am waiting for Sab and the others in my group to complete their work then I CAN GO BACK TO MY ROOM AND BIIITTCCHHHHHHHHHH with MJ, Sab and Hanna! MAWAWWAAWAWA.

It's the 4th day today. Tomorrow shall be the 5th and the last day. After the project presentation then off I'm back home. WOO. Shall ssllleeeppp like a log for the next one millenium or so. HAHA. Okay. Eh, I'm really bored now, man. This computer is WINDOWS 98 okayy. Imagine how slow the system works. Oooh I'm really bored now la. Mwahahhaaha. Okay. I'm Optrex-ing now. MWAHAHAA. But too bad, it's NOT a long one. I'm Optrex-ing in pain. Piak piak. Sakkitttt.

I know. I have officially lost my mind. There is an aura of urgency in this comp lab, everyone from different groups are furiously brainstorming and discussing, typing away but then, what the hell am I doing now? Hmm. But too bad lah, this is a result of boredom. Eh, suddenly, OUCH.

********Eh, sakit sial.

Haiz. Hurry up la 11.30pm. I want to go back to my room and slack. Boring sial here. Then tomorrow, the project presentation. Fuck la. I will be making a fool out of myself loh, FUCKING NERVOUS sial. Imagine me holding the microphone and blababababbbabaababba infrontof the people from the higher authorities, all holding a high rank in the CDC and stuffs. SHYYTT. Scared sial.

NERVOUS.



I shall not OPTREX. I hate separations.

Chequie,

What else do I need to say?

Reminiscing the past hurts.

Those were the days.

Chequie,

PROMPROMPROM.

All the girls suddenly look very beautiful, even the 'nerds' had make-up on and styled their hair, they look absolutely gorgeous.

Partied like never before. Miraaa, the always-reserved-one, suddenly got high and pulled Hannie and I to the dancefloor and synchronized to the music. Hit the dancefloor with more of my girls and they made me high, like high in ecstasy. Esp Nadee, she looked like a drunkard, and danced like in a trance. Junn, Rai and MJ were equally excited too, we were all dancing like crazzzyy. Sultry and sexy moves, booty-shaking and stuffs. Screaming excitedly and singing the lyrics out loud. And the feeling is totally outrageous.

That was the craziest night of my life. When pictures come, I'll post 'em up.

Though I had a great time here, you never escaped my mind.