Chequie,

SPRING CLEANING MY 'NEW' ROOM. HAAAAAAAA. IT'S OKAY.

haaaaaaaaaaaa. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa haaaaaaa haaaaaaaaaaaaaa. haaaaaaaaaaaa. haaaaaaaaa.

It's so dead bored in here I think I would die of boredom and asphyxiation really soon. Tomorrow onwards I'm gonna get my bum off the house for these 3 days before Hari Raya and.. uhm.. we'll see about that. I will definitely be going out tomorrow, ;) and after that, STUDY!

P.s/ AMIRA! Thank you for giving me the SS tips, gonna make full use of it. =)) *MUACKS!*

Chequie,

Everything is turning out to be a TORMENT.

I can't focus. I can't concentrate. Each time I sit at my study table with a ten-year series 'served' infrontof me, I seemed to lose control. LAST MINUTE REVISION? How is the last minute, few minutes before the commencement of the paper!? Is that my LAST MINUTE!? HELLO WAKE UP YOU BITCH, O LEVELS ARE IN 9 DAYS TIME? Still, I couldn't feel the urgency, OMFG I'm in great danger. Somebody better whack me with the computer processor or at least, flung me down the building.

WHY IS IT YOU WHO KEEP APPEARING IN MY MIND?!

That's it. You're a major distraction.

Btw Amira, in case you're wondering, I called you just now at 8 plus, but you were not at home. =(

PLEASE I'm gonna study faithfully tomorrow.. I'm gonna study VENICE like shit and read the SS notes like BIBLE QUR'AN. If VENICE didn't come out for the paper, I'm gonna FLY TO CAMBRIDGE AND BURN DOWN THE BUILDING or SHOOT THE MAN WHO SET THE PAPER.

That's it. I shall sleep in my NEW ROOM. [got downgraded, fyi.] THANKS TO MY SHITTY DAD.

Chequie,

I'm like supposed to bake choc chip cookies and other kuihs today, but since all my mood are drained, there's certainly zero happiness and joy in doing the baking which I normally LOVE to do. Well let's see maybe tomorrow or the following day, then I'll do it. But right now, I just feel like listening to music and eat cookie crumbles and brood over what happened yesterday and today.

Everything accounts to the sorrow I'm feeling now. Family.. and duh, the sheep. And then, unreliable parents and spoilt siblings. And I was automatically ostracised from everything. You know, the doomy atmosphere at home. I'm so bored. There's no one to talk to at home. Except for my sis, who had a hard time enduring with my non-stop talking. I hate to touch the telephone. Then I'm left alone. That's it. I'm gonna rot.

Sometimes I feel so lazy to live. And certainly too lazy to carry on with life. It has been mundane. That's all.

I guess there's nothing interesting in life anyway.

And so what if Hari Raya is in.. uhm lemme count, 5 days. Ugh.

Chequie,

I think it's time for me to go and jump down the building cos my heart is torn into pieces.

With all the things you said, you made my world crumble, hence that's the reason why I took off our black band and threw it down the drain, cos everything seems so useless now. Why this sudden clash again? I thought we're perfectly fine? Just less than 12 hours ago we were rolling on the floor wrestling happily with each other and me throwing and shaking you around violently, pretending you're my BARBIE doll.. and this had to happen. OK woo.

Chequie,

This is a true fact;

I'm now at an ADVANCED stage of rotting.

Ooh. Blog's been dead. HAA I'm making use of this opportunity to wake my blog up. WAKEY WAKEY YOU WAKEY FOCKER.

And ooh ooh! I dyed my hair! WEEEEEEEEE.. Haha I like my hair now. But the colour isn't obvious cos I used only half the bottle as I shared with mah sis. HEEEEEEEEE..

I'M HUNGRY.

Tomorrow will be a wonderful day for me and mah bestie AMIRA! WWOOOOOOOOOOO..

I LOVE ISWANDI...

Chequie,

My body is actually cold, but when you hugged me tight, adrenaline rushed and hence my body warmed.

I hope that explains your query.

Chequie,

Why does things turn out to be really nasty these days? It's perfectly fine if you want me to understand you, I ALWAYS understand you, but what about you? I follow everything you say like a filial child, but you tend to think that I'm always the one who's wrong. Then you put all the blame to me and think that I'll obliterate you from my life but what the heck?

IT'S OKAY if you put all the blame to me. I'm always in the wrong.

If we can't take things easy, why do you still want to continue? Why do you hesitate to leave me? We're better off our own. You lead your own life, and I lead mine.

Chequie,

I am feeling very guilty now. Like, very very guilty. Mum's budget at the supermarket is supposed to be 100 bucks, but the stuffs that my sister and I grabbed from the shelves reached up to 200 bucks. $204.00, to be specific. Ya, double the maximum budget. Then mum got crossed. I wish I could refund half the stuffs back. Most of the stuffs are chocolates. YA. Choc biscuits. And other toiletries. Hmm. Macam orang pelarian gitu. If not also, it looks like they're meant for the victims in third-world countries. HAH. If only. 8 giant bags of Sheng Siong Supermarket worth of goods.

I seriously don't know what to do now.

Chequie,

You have seen Brownie,



YEah. Introducingggggg.................

Saint Alexander Mars Aerodactyl Blackie, a.k.a BLACKIE!



Yes, the cute lil thang was on top of the dryer, which broke down a few days ago and was waiting for its time to be discarded. It has been with us for 7 years. Ahh, and the new one came yesterday, yeah, it's a hurry cos my household can't live without a dryer. I'll kiss the feet of whoever who invented DRYER.











Oh NOR the monster comes!!







Do you see a long tail? It's black.



Sexy, saucy Blackie, moving into the dryer.



Damn you're hot.



Commando. Camouflaging. See that pair of intensifying green eyes.


I love you cats. When I have my own home I swear I'm gonna keep 10 cats and whoever my husband is gotta love cats or I shall not marry him.

Chequie,

I stole this from Rahim's blog. HAHA. =X

"i remember once during assembly..mr teo was making an announcement. it was time to go home already. and when mr teo invited another teacher to make an announcement. all the student went booo-ing..all shouting with that sian face. then mr teo said thats not the way to react..lets try it again. this time everybody cheer like fuck..like cheering for soccer. make bloody a lot of noise..wooooooooooo. clap and scream like never before. classic bgss moment.

sian ah..now morning wake up. dont have that 'shiok ah no school' feeling. no more class. no more chaos. no more noise. no more fights. no more rebels. no more woooooooo. no more bash. no more fun. no more trouble. no more laughter. weird, im the one who always ponteng school yet i miss school now."

It's true, it's true. I still remember that day vividly, I was one of the students cheering like mad. I used to loath school, but now I kinda miss it though I find 99.9999% percent of the teachers are FUCKING IRRITATING. Yes I have that kind of mentality.

Yah. I remember the ever-so-funny Teo Chai Lai, or loosely translated to Mandarin, 'vegetable farm' (Joyce taught me.) I won't see him anymore. I miss him, NO!

I'm rotting at home. I can't go out. Can't. Can't. Can't. Books are my companion. No, TEXTBOOKS, eh wait who the hell read from textbooks? Hmm TEN-YEAR-SERIES!!

Okay now my little sister wants to play Totally Spies so I better fuck off before she goes running to my dad who will come back home in 1.1111110 second and whine to him saying, "Abah, Kakak Mena pakai komputer tak kasi Kamaya pakai.." yah that sentence will irritate me and hence she will have 5 finger marks on her right cheek.

And hey, if you're so fucking bored come let's play Totally Spies;
http://www.cartoonnetwork.com/tv_shows/totallyspies/index.html

Yah that's the link go go play!

Christmas 2005 will be pure helluva fun, girls. I can't wait. =)

Chequie,

A simple VCD changed my outlook on friendships. I couldn't resist but to watch the VCD three times, each time setting my tear ducts motor running wild.

Yes. Reminiscing is a painful thing when friendships are on the rocks. Salvaging a rocky friendship depends on the ego of both friends, then watch it crumble.

I realised, you have tried so hard to salvage our beautiful friendship, but it is always me who had to destroy it in the end. I realised you are the one who treasures me the most, and the one that loves me more than your boyfriend.

I know our conversation these days are stingy and sarcastic. It is not possible to get pissed.

I still remember the times when we were so close, that even nothing could separate us.


Remember during Christmas in 2004? We went to Bugis and bought flashy lights Christmas hats and attracted a hell lot of attention. We were loud and singing as we walked along the streets. At the end of the day we got chased by perverts who were old enought to be our fathers. You were very terrified that you suggested that we hide in a nearby shop. Instead of pulling my hand, you accidentally pulled 'somewhere else' cos you were too terrified.

Oh, remember the time when you imitated the exotic dancers in Raghav's Let's Work It Out? You were so funny that I laughed myself off your bed and had cramps. Then we failed miserable in attempts to do belly dancing like the exotic dancers.

Then CHOCQUET's first "music video" on 'Take Me Away' originally by Christina Vidal. Yes, we were crazy and Amirul commented nastily on my "strumming of electric guitar". Inside joke, babey. We nearly died of laughter when your dad surprised us with his sudden comeback.

I still remember a time when I lend you my shoulder to cry on. Then I felt so closely connected to you. Friendship bond grows stronger, day by day. But now it seems to get out of hand, and everything's upside down. Things that I used to abhor in the past are happening right to myself, you and me. I began to contradict what I said. It's sad, but true.

That's all fer now. One thing for sure, I still miss you, and I really love you, Bestfriend.

Chequie,

My life is being automated. What happens everyday is systematic. As 'programmed', I woke up at 12.15 pm today, took a shower and went out to study. Did a bit of Maths, 18 questions from Paper 1, I think it's June 2002 paper, and as expected, I fared a lot less than a decent pass. Then I felt demoralised and kept everything in my bag and chilled.

It rained in the evening, and the gloomy atmosphere reflected my own self. I was in the bus, under a strong air-con, pondering while looking at the droplets of rain trickling down the window. Weathers like this make me happy, though the atmosphere is moody. When I alighted from the bus, I avoided the shelters and played in the rain. I was drenched in the heavy rain and survived a thunder. When I reached Alfiah restaurant, the patrons were staring at me while I walked past them. Then I got out from the shelter and continued walking under the rain. It was reliving, and it reminded me of my deprived childhood, and playing in the rain was the only thing that I could remember as something very fun and entertaining when my age was single digit. I remembered vividly when I took small footsteps under the heavy rain. Then I reminisced, from such an innocent and naive little child grows into a wayward adolescent which makes up what I am today. I was picturing my surrounding to be in a sepia mode, and my body switched to my childhood days. And together with the falling rain, tears rolled down my cheeks, but nobody knows, cos it's camouflaged.

Then the moment I reached home, mom had to chase me to the bathroom to take a shower. Aaah too late, my head had already spun like a washing machine even before I reached home. Looks like I'm down with fever sooner or later. But who cares..

Anyway, practical exam is tomorrow. I better set 5 000 000 alarm clocks tonight so I can be punctual tomorrow. It's now or never.

Chequie,

Reading post-graduation entries from the other classmates touched me entirely. The effect that it left me afterwards, kills me. I'm missing my batch so much I wanna go to school again.

I stole this from MARRRYYYJJJAANNNEEEE'S BLOG. Hahaha!

(She puts a picture of me and her, but I can't extract it!)

Mariyanah.
the friggin tall girl! AND SKINNY ALSO. she gets damn hyper sometimes, i still remember in YA camp, mena performed at the campfire and she ran around in circles like some mad bitch. lol. funny ah. She loves calling me maryjane. not to mention, her pokes hurt damn badly! makes me like sore for like hours. hee.

Okay. It seems that nearly ALL the YAs remembered me as the one who went koo-koo during the YA camp which was like, 2 years ago, and the one who ran around the fire screaming my lungs out and danced like never before. Not forgetting my forever-out-of-tune singings. HEES! Buuuutttttttttttttt, this year's YA camp, I'm gonna make it happen again BABBEEYYYS. (If I participate.)

Dah. I'm not gonna say much more.

Something amazed me this evening. I nearly cried because I watched sunset, no this is not the normal sunset, but this sunset was really captivating and, mesmerizing. If only there's a loved one beside me to watch it together with me, HAHA. I was touched by its amazing beauty, yes it was beautiful, I appreciate God's creation. Something about the beautiful sunset. If only there's something to capture the moment..

I'm gonna drag an innocent one to watch sunset with me.

Chequie,

Time before Graduation ceremony.



Ah Leong, also known as Chee Bye Girl, and me



I'm happy yet she's in a state of melancholy.



SHOO! I'm busy SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS!



Another me.


Moments of ultimate boredom. Please ignore my huge eyebags cos as you can see, I'm bloody sleepy and this had to happen. Fyi, that's a POWERPUFF GIRLS pyjamas I'm wearing. Ring a bell? ;)

Pics of Me and my sister;



See no evil, speak no evil and hear no evil all at once.



The super-shy hermit under a blue bowl.



Crab-face and the hermit who lost her bowl.



Something in random.



We fished out the NDP white cap and my pink beanie. Hermits.



Ooh ooh less shy!



Yes yes I'm still a shy hermit!



Chiannngg!



Oh, that's Brownie sandwiched in the center.



Face up!



Sarong it again.



Oily faces + Sleepy eyes= The picture above.



AAAH! RANTING IDIOTS!



Kisses from an idiot.



Oh boy look up there, I see a Superman with his underwear outside, no no look at beside me, I see an idiot with a horrendous sense of direction!





AAAARRRRR BITE YOU BITE YOU AND DON'T GIVE ME THAT FACE!



If you wanna lick me, go to hell.



Sexy and saucy Brownie.

Where's Blackie? Hmmm he'll be up soon.

Chequie,

OMFG my blog has been dead for nearly a millenium. HAHS.

I told you I hate separation- in every way. Ok ya ya I'm gonna blog about GRADUATION DAY which was today. YAYA, so much for being emotionless about the whole thing but I ended up crying my eyes out infrontof the teachers which was so fuckin embarassing and hugged a whole lot of teachers. Damn, I don't feel like attending anymore graduating ceremonies like this anymore, I swear. It left a painful feeling, the feeling where you don't feel like parting, yet you want to.

I miss every single bit and pieces of 4/5, though I used to despise you guys (the familiar bunch) a lot for irritating the shit out of me every day that I gave up with the noise and slept the whole lessons away cos my concentration flew out of the window just like that.

I'm officially a minah lepak now cos apparently one of the sec ones who 'baru naik' salam-ed me, at first I hesitated when I saw his outstretched hand but I returned his salam back out of courtesy and then he told me that the salam to anyone there means that the person is a considered as one of the members there so my ever-so-slow brain generated a message that I'm a part of the lepak-ers there already. I cringed at the news then deep inside I swear that would be the last time I'm gonna sit there so that I won't be a minah lepak or whatsoever it's so fucking humiliating so everybody let's go and die.

No-no, I don't want to be a minah lepak bawah kolong, it's degrading I tell you I think I'll go up the multi storey carpark and jump down.

NO PARKING.

As much as you yearn to talk to me, I would love to talk to you too. And no, I didn't disappear, I didn't escape from reality. And yes, I miss you too. I'm not pissed, I'm not mad. I love you.

Show the world you got it, so flaunt it.

Next week; Practical Exam.

That's it. I have a boring life now. Like, totally boring.

Chequie,

Ramadhan's coming. Like, real soon. I used to remember how I cringed at the news that it's just round the corner. Then I went, "Aaahh! No food, no drinks! No this no that! UURGGGHHH." Look, I wasn't devoutly religious oh kay! But Alhamdullilah, this year I managed to fend off those sinful intentions cos, I'm gonna make full use of this fasting month. Esp malam lailatul'qadar. It excites me. Something about my dad said that the malaikat will 'hug' you if you religiously do your prayers and stuff. And feel that coldness surrounding you. Mystery isn't it? It's amazing.

I'll tell you how exactly I feel. I'm super elated for some reasons and da, I can't sleep tonight. Reason being I just have this fluttering feel of happiness lurking in me, it won't go away, and the feeling is beautiful. Life is sweet now.

I mean, really sweet.

Chequie,

Someone is particularly irritating today. Like, so bloody irritating. MOTHERFUCKING IRRITATING... Cos he's so bloody irritating that he's sucha motherfucking irritating irritator in the whole irritating world. And I irritatingly mean it.

So basically as usual I woke up late and the last idiot in the house to wake up. 11 am, quite early for you but hmmm, the latest time in ma homie. Ya, so I took my own sweet time to take my shower and balbalbalbaballabalbalal. Mum still don't wanna talk to me, oh wells, quite disappointing but nevertheless, I'm still pretty okay with it. Ramadhan's coming soon, so I hope things will get better then. =/

Okay. I'm a this place now, ranting away while this original sheep is sitting right beside me. Oooh ooh any moment he will bash up cos I irritated the hell out of him today. Mbbbeeekkkkkkkkkkkkkkk2. Oooh ooh remember to watch The Powerpuff Girls Movie today at 8pm at Channel 5. Ohkay, bye.